Hiii. Here cometh your September Review Marathon prize review.

What I liked: haha, this is really funny. I like Vesset already-I'm totally a sucker for the big menly men (or, demonly, as the case may be) who grumble their way through life. And your last line packs a punch, makes me want to read on.

Suggestions: I would go easy on the one sentence one paragraph lines of 'Unfortunately...' and 'Except...'. It's a precursor to a bit of a plot twist, yes, but lines like that come across (to me) as a little gimmicky. I think the twists would come across as more surprising without them :)

Write on!
-Monk

Your characterization is pretty awesome, especially with Bird Woman. As with all your stories, I got to know her from the dialogue.
The last line is also awesome, it's just a suddenly amusing end to the chapter.
I also love that Bird Woman calls Vesset Charlie, that was a detail that made it all more amusing.
This is really funny, I love that you just kind of let it go and it worked.
Once again awesome.

Lol interesting ). I like how it started out. I also like the main character though you put too much description into one sentence. Try to space it out a bit so it doesn't get too jumbled. I'm still not quite sure what is considered slash; I have heard that term a lot. I'm just curious lol, but great first chapter ).

XD this is good. Really good. Poor little Pan, accidentaly hitting the demon... I can't wait to read more.

I hope it's slash, it's what drove me here in tge first place but thanks for this chapter. Continue the work.

*stutters* B-but... why... why no Pan and Vesset... WAIT, forget I asked it. It was a mindless question and I know you know what you're doing ;D But... could you... pwetty pwease... Updated soon? Please? Ima die if you don't! That's an exaggeration, but I will be super sad and continuously hound you to update.
And I'm sure both of us don't want that to happen.
You really should continue though on this. It's an amazing story idea, and I really want to know what happens next, so please update? I know I already asked it but I shall keep asking until I feel satisfied!
I really wish I could leave a longer review, but I have nothing to say other than this;
I LOVE this! I honestly can't wait for the next update *Hint* So... OH MY GOD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS AMAZING AND AWESOME IN THE WORLD UPDATE SOON!
Okay... I almost got it out of my system, but I'm cutting myself off here
Snow Whites Poison Kiss

Nice.

Most interesting...pls update, would love to read the rest of the story.

:D

Hnnnnng. So magnetizing. I'm loving it so far. I look forward to the next update.

This is a really interesting plot :)

Please write and update soon!

Katy

That was amusing to say the least. Honestly I hope you continue this as it's definitely got a solid base so far. The fact that most of them are violence prone and gun toting makes it all the more fun. Looking forward to seeing if you continue this in some way.

BR

Oh yay, this updated again -

Don't-cha just hate those days when you fire the arrow into the wrong guy? Pan's funny though :)

:D

Seems like a really good story! :)

Please carry on with it :D

Katy