Poetry is so subjective that reviewing it is very difficult but i just thought you'd appreciate hearing that i personally found it very good and really enjoyed - if i had to critque i would say maybe if you spend a little more time on it you might get rid of a few slightly irregular bits such as "while remaining as elusive to catch as smoke" seems...i don't know non-poetic? i just think a better word choice or order would add more power to the line but all in all really good work! :)