|Reviews for Somnium -The MMORPG-|
| Julless 6/15/13 . chapter 1
Th is is cool
| Chiisutofupuru 5/27/13 . chapter 19
All the way to chapter '19' to review chapter '31' (OR 17 and 28 but whatever)
I guess you can disregard my first review for chapter 31.
The main character's wings are awesome but he himself didn't do much that fight.
Hurray for levitation!
(Did they actually win or did he just lvl up randomly?)
Oh, and I'm glad you're still alive :P
A review by: Chiisutofupuru
| Clear World 3/19/13 . chapter 20
I realize that this story doesn't take itself ask that serious with ask those memes. gene. If only the beginning party hadn't ruined it for me
| Clear World 3/19/13 . chapter 18
Now this is what I expect a boss battle to be like. Haha, slender man appearance.
But on another note, the use of in medias res for the beginning of this arc, in my opinion, should be removed.
| Clear World 3/19/13 . chapter 14
Reading that makes me want a rich friend. I might have to go save a person life now
| the writing addict 3/14/13 . chapter 31
good work sorry for not reviewing lately
| Fang-StrikingSilver 2/27/13 . chapter 31
I love it! Yay, I'm a ninja! XD yeah, we would kick butt too.
| Chiisutofupuru 2/27/13 . chapter 31
Ummm... all I can say right now is that you'd better update a little faster this time. I want to know what just happened.
| Clear World 2/9/13 . chapter 11
Mmmm, that boss battle. Hahha, enjoyed it, but wow. 1-hit really? Was suspecting multiply hits but maybe my bias in games is lying to me.
Just curious, is this story more written as short stories with a overarching plot, or is it just a bunch of short stories because even though I find the action rather good, I am curious what the end goal is.
And lastly, how much time have they spent in the game already? Seeing that Cookie (i'm just going to call him that because i like the name commoncookie) is already level 7, i assumed he has been in the game for a few hours.
| Clear World 2/3/13 . chapter 5
A few corrections/nitpicks:
"but the game itself seemed to* worth it" - insert 'be'
"(which I don't really agree with since I'm older than her) - why is there parentheses? the person is monologuing everything so this seems weirdly placed
"You're late, what have you got to say for your... Hey, wuzzat?" - extremely weird for me how she transfer from mad to friendly.
"it *does worth its price." - replace does with 'is'
"No. Let's hear about it and I'll decide if you worth your dinner. Get in." - I think a better way to rephrase this would be like "No. Let's hear this now and then I'll decide if you are worth your dinner" (granted, I actually am confused on this line so my suggestion may be wrong)
"but scientists nowadays had made this breakthrough." - replace with 'have'
"I had to admit that she had got * nice looks" - insert 'a', or rewrite this sentence because it is worded weirdly
"that Steampunk chick" - delete 'that'
"Alex and Lorraine's in deep crap." - insert 'is' and remove the 's as they don't own that.
Okay, time for the actual review.
The premise is set up but can't say much since it's all setting up, and sadly, after watching Sword Art Online, my expectations for this are high, but this story has a few things that can work for it.
You're characters, not much to say. There's very little to based them off from. I'm a person who judge characters based on their actions and not what Jyacee says about other people, so they have room to improve. As I currently see them as, Jaycee (leader) - the fearless leader, Alex (lancer), the lovable best friend, Lorraine (chick)- the caring love interest, and Violet (the brute) - the snarky sister. Huh, seems to fit that band well.. maybe.
For some reason, I found the name CommieCookie extremely funny. I smell a mary sue in the making *hehe*.
But overall, I found the online things interesting this I believe that's where the true meat of the story is at. The short chapter at school was meh at best, but passable since it was short and just needed to introduce Alex and Lorraine. Still wondering what the actual plot is though.
| Chiisutofupuru 2/1/13 . chapter 30
'The Valkyries'... if The Undertakers have heard their name somewhere, they must have some sort of popularity. Let us see what they can all do vs this tree-thing.
| Fang-StrikingSilver 1/31/13 . chapter 30
Yay! Love it! Haha 'pussies' XD
| Fang-StrikingSilver 1/27/13 . chapter 29
Oooooh love it! :D she was portrayed perfeclty. :) the only mistake was it was green day, not red day, but that's fine!
| Chiisutofupuru 1/27/13 . chapter 29
Two new characters and a quest was given. I now want to find out what the two new characters are like.
| Flame Darkmoon 1/27/13 . chapter 28
I'm sure he can handle the guy. Or he could fail and then come back to defeat the guy. Either way, he defeats the guy.