I like the jerky rhythm of these lines because they really "show" the undecided theme, going backwards and forwards between different themes and ideas and constantly coming back like a mind in confusion.

I also like the use of slashes again because this time it seems like they're scribbling out thoughts as they jump around. It's another minor thing that serves to further the undecided theme, this time in a visual way by cutting out ends of lines and skipping ahead to whole new stanzas and ideas. The best example is the last one, where we never find out what "however" referred to because the train of thought has been derailed.

Excuse any spelling errors. :)

Ohana from the Review Marathon (link in profile)

I like the shortness of this poem because it portrays the questions you've asked so much more directly than dragging it on with denser imagery. Much more effective this way.

I also like the word "Just" because it gives the poem an almost crying desperate tone and adds that extra element of personality and emotion to it. In fact, I think it's the only thing that does in this poem.

I don't like the lack of punctuation here because this really screams for a variation with pauses. Eg. the second line needs an ellipsis to reinforce the stemming off effect you seem to attempt and then let go of. Also, the first line seems to require a bit of a holder to make it sharper.

I like the worried tone of this fic because I can feel the narrator's worry as opposed to simply reading it off the screen, whether she'll go to heaven or hell or what happens after death all while death creeps up...thousands of years of philosophy summarised in a few lines and in the tone of a single unnamed person aging.

I like the use of slashes in this, not only to show paragraph breaks but also because the slash gives quite a viscious image of moving between one stanza and the next and that works really well with the concept of hate.

I also also like the idea of rule-breaking because, again while it's a very common image, it serves as a very easy trap for anyone to fall into and thus a warning to readers by portraying it in a not so aesthetically appealing way. You've used the idea, portrayed it plainly and then used structure around it to turn it upon its head. Nicely done.

I like the pleading nature of this because it really gives the narrator's voice a tone of desperation and heavy emotion.

I also like the idea of attempting to escape reality via dreamworld because it's something that's very relatable sentiment to people, and yet in a poetic sense it's also something fantastical. A nice blend of images.

I like the theme of knowing in this, because it's portrayed so simply yet eloquently, and tackles something that happens all the time, people changing, people no longer recognising and getting along, in a manner which is both basic and unique. A nice blend of spices from everything really. Knowing about not knowing. Nicely ironic and you've done it well.

I don't like the page-break here [I don't know/me either] because it seems like an unnecessary rhythm and disrupts the nice pacing you had.

Ohana from the Review Marathon (link in profile)

I can relate to this. Nicely done. Keep it up .

Nice. Keep it up .

Awww, sad but true. I can relate to this well. Keep it up .