|Reviews for A love most unhuman|
| thetabbykitteh 5/29/12 . chapter 1
Loved it, please write more.
| CMBaggs 5/26/12 . chapter 1
Hmmm, where to begin with this. The concept is interesting enough. Alice Hoffman is an author I would recommend reading. She has this way of making the mythical seem natural which would lend itself well to your modern setting.
I noticed a few SPAG errors, mostly in the spacing of the dialogue. Generally, it's best to change paragraphs (or lines) when the speaker changes to give the reader a clear break between the two. It creates flow. .com has great articles on writing craft if you're interested.
Aside from that, I just cringe whenever overly powerful creatures are used too sparingly. I know that I'm basing this opinion on one little chapter. Like any Mary Sue self-insertion, a dragon or god are equally in danger of being too powerful, too perfect, for any reader to really relate to. No matter your content, no matter the genetics of your MC, they have to have some "humanity" (internal faults, challenges) to be believable.
Anyways, good luck and happy writing.