|Reviews for Quartz Underfoot|
| Aletiah 11/5/12 . chapter 1
This is really good. I love how Alvin tries to get to know Daniel through his brother after he got the letter. And it's so honest that he almost forgets the letter afterwards too, since he never knew Daniel in life. But I also thinks it's very true to think "what if..." I believe that is why he cried. He could have had something, but they never even got the chance. Stupid Daniel to drink and drive.
| ImmanenceEnsured 8/23/12 . chapter 1
This story felt very real. The atmosphere was what I enjoyed most. Very special.
| PalindromeIsntOne 7/1/12 . chapter 1
There's something I haven't reviewed! This is a traversty!
I read it too when it went up. I have a feeling I should be ashamed. It's been ages.
"Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night". That poem...ah, yeah. I actually think it would be kind of innapropriate to read out after such an occasion, but maybe that's just me. I don't know why, it's just this feeling I have. I have much feeling for that poem.
The beginning, with all the mood setting, for me was the best part of the fic. I think you mentioned everything, the awkwardness, the sadness, the little mundane things that just poke in for some reason. Like 'ask him to remove his favourite red cap'. I'm not very eloquent all the time so I'll just say for me this is a mini-sad, like a little sad within the overall sad. Like the little mundane things were just so...just so.
When I first read this story I actually thought the second half, with the increased conversation, spoiled the mood. But now I read it again, I changed my mind. This: 'Brendan himself was lost, his eyes showing that he was seeing something that wasn't in the room with them right now.' I know, I know, sort of a little typical but following from 'It was as unspectacular as Alvin's own room.' it's just so realistic. What am I even trying to say here? It's like you've captured the emptiness without actually making it angst, like it's a little closer to the true grief than a completely objective viewpoint and yet has the peculiar detachment of watching something on the news, knowing it's sad but not having a deep connection with it. This is just embodied in 'Huh, Alvin thought. A letter from a dead man.'
| tleiaxu 6/5/12 . chapter 1
Beautiful. I can only imagine what it would be like to find you had a note from a stranger who just died. What a great premise for a story.
The mood was so well done. The awkward sensitive reaction of the students is so familiar; similar emotions and would go around at my high school when students passed. And "in the arms of an angel" was even played at one... So needless to say this brought back some memories.
A lovely, interesting, somber story. Great work.
| Honunjama 5/27/12 . chapter 1
I really like how the second half of this (when Alvin is speaking to Brendon) is like a beautifully perfect snapshot. There is a lot of story contained within their few moments together.
And I like how unsentimental the ending is, how Alvin behaves is quite real.
I think the second half comes across as stronger than the first because the second is a very self-contained piece, and when I was reading the first part I somehow expected the story to be expanded a little maybe (as you could go into a lot of detail with all the information you have).
This was a really enjoyable read:) Thank you.
| S.H. Marr 5/26/12 . chapter 1
This...is really confusing.
Not the plot or anything, that was easy to follow. But I'm not sure how the title fits in at all, and it really bothers me. And I don't really know why Alvin went to tell Daniel's brother about the note. And I guess the only reason the school had a whole thing about it was because he was drunk and drove, because when a kid in my high school died of menegitis, all that we got was notices on the symptoms.
I know not everything can be explained in a oneshot, but, well, I feel there could have been a lot more explanation in this one.
I liked the mood of this though. It started very somber and funeral-esque, and left no doubt as to what had happened. It sort of fell apart later, when characters started interacting, but dialogue-y scenes are really hard to keep a mood, especially one like that, going, so no foul there.
As Iv'e commented before, the ending was weird. I think you might have worded some of it better, or broken it up into shorter paragraphs for empahsis or something.
Hope I gave you something to think about.
| GreenGrass1 5/26/12 . chapter 1
I love this! Sombre as you said, but well done. You render the subject, coming out, or more accurately, inability to come out and the sub-theme of mortality with sensitivity.
Style-wise it's very good. You use the setting to create the tone of the story. The varied reactions of different minor characters add a nice touch. The plot is to the point and the conversation is heart-felt.