This was much better, just caught one grammar error, you said

"You know cops are no problem for us. Either is her family. So let's just take her!"

I'm pretty sure you ment neither, by other then that, no complaints, keep up the good work.

I like the idea of the story, but there are a bunch of spelling and grammar issues that take away from the story. If you fix those though, this has potential to be really good.

Wow, no reviews? You deserve them, this story is pretty good. ;)