|Reviews for Goodbye, Blue Sky|
| J.Kuzzey 5/15/13 . chapter 83
Damn I liked this chapter. I'm a sucker for backstory-type chapters and this one was done well. It's kind of interesting to see Jack trying to adjust to really being an outcast where he probably wishes he could feel at home. God damn that TENSION between Mikage and Jack. I was almost yelling for them to just punch each other already haha. Also such a good description of how this war has kind of gotten to the point where - what was it? "...it's not even about winning anymore. It's just about crushing the other guys. So absolutely. It's about enslaving a people. It's just about having fun."
It's almost like everyone completely forgot why they started fighting in the first place, now its just commonplace, a part of life that they can't escape. It's a WAY of life for some of them. Like having a boring job, where the same things happen day in and day out; for other some its just miserable, and others are trying to make it interesting. And others still, are just so completely fucked by everything they would be better off dying or hoping the war never ended. But I guess the most important thing is that more lines are being drawn between characters, connecting them even further to each other.
May not being mouthy? O shit. It's about to get real. Looking forward to the next chapter.
| True Talker 5/5/13 . chapter 83
Reading this makes me think.
| Dreamers-Requiem 4/22/13 . chapter 3
I feel like this is just a little too dialogue heavy. A bit more description could really pad it out; maybe build on his emotions, his surroundings. Build up the tension of their argument. At the moment, it happens quite fast and it's hard to really lock in on it. Watch out for italics, too; they're not really needed (except for the character's direct thoughts but, even then, they don't need to be in italics as it's first person). Italics for emphasis don't always work. Maybe let the reader decide where the emphasis goes? Hope this helps!
| J.Kuzzey 4/14/13 . chapter 82
That first scene was perfectly executed.
Lion is still such an awesome character. I like that he has this line that he will not cross no matter what. Shiro and the others are in a bad situation, its pretty much win or die at this point, so they're willing to do whatever it takes. Lion, though... still doesn't want to cross that line. That being said, SKY is serious business, isn't it...
Excellent scene between Andrei and the King, too. Andrei's frustration and anger makes a lot of sense; sometimes a word from the right person can keep a fight alive, make people fight stronger. It gives them hope and motivation. Not exactly sure how I feel about the King, exactly. Time will tell.
I read "Get the fuck out of my office" in a very even tone, which made me laugh my ass off, haha! After Ivanov throws this fit that's all he has to say. Fits perfectly, though. Overall, you ended with another excellent scene. I could see it perfectly in my head, and the reactions were spot on. You tied it all together neatly, spinning that pen around...
Next chapter, please and thank you. :)
| Dreamers-Requiem 4/7/13 . chapter 2
I like how, as a reader, we're pretty much left in the dark here as to what's going on. You do it skilfully enough that rather than being annoying, it engages the reader and makes them want to read more. The interactions are interesting, too, especially as currently, you're revealing very little about the characters involved. There feels like there's a lot of movement when the masked characters are introduced, but it's clear what movement is happening rather than being confusing. Overall, a good job, and I'll be reading more when I can.
| J.Kuzzey 3/28/13 . chapter 81
Haha! I love how they kind of ignored Rochelle. She just got to sit and watch, poor Jack and May. Smart thinking, using language as a way to identify people. God dammit, Lion! He better make it out alright. Yet I am never too hopeful when reading this, haha. Just sucks hardcore for him since he's all alone. Hm, I am definitely interested to see where exactly Andrei ends up. Makes you wonder how organized they may be down there (compared to some of the light pockets of resistance). Funny how the word 'worms' really comes around full circle. I like that anything and everything in this story can be brought up again at any moment and suddenly have a new meaning. (or, at least, my perspective of it changes a tad). Alex is officially cracking up! Someone give that guy a hug!
| J.Kuzzey 3/20/13 . chapter 80
I planned to hold off reading this chapter because I knew it was going to be depressing. I failed, since apparently I only held out for a few hours! And it is depressing. I knew something horrible was going to happen eventually! Honestly, I wasn't sure how to review this. It's great; the despair is evident, and I certainly feel it as well. Not a single laugh was had this chapter, lol.
The broadcast - argh! That is such a terrible thing. So real, though. What better way to show off your power, to strike fear into those who wish to oppress, than something like that? Maybe that's why it frustrates me. I can imagine something that bad much too easily. You've done a great job getting me super angry, so I applaud you. Andrei's clearly beaten, like he just can't seem to muster the strength to care, much less fight for anything. And Alex has officially fallen off his rocker. I can't blame either of them for how they feel, though.
The clock running out of life has to be symbolic, haha.
| J.Kuzzey 3/20/13 . chapter 79
Orel gave Ras a verbal bitch slap there, didn't he? And then Ras asks Z. "But what about—us?" Boom. Not an answer was given. Probably a rather emotional time for that entire group. Also, Alex and Andrei, making eye contact again... Weirdly I keep hoping they will reconcile, but that isn't very realistic, I suppose. Interesting how the crowd is pretty much... hate to say this, but they're really kind of cowards. They're too afraid to fight; the fight's been knocked out of them for a while it seems. It's frustrating, but then it also forces me to think how the average person would react. Still, being herded to your death or fighting for your life...
-A piece of plaster falls from the ceiling.- I'm sorry, but I laughed, assuming that was probably from him firing the gun into the air. Comedic timing on that was perfect. And Now they have to try and stand up against a whole buttload of baddies. This can't end well...
| J.Kuzzey 3/20/13 . chapter 78
Loved that opening scene. I had a good picture of it in my head, perfect amount of detail and mystery. Right here is a moment where your rhythm and pacing are very evident, and it's just freakin' perfect: 'I try to close the gap, but it rips deeper, deeper through my entire psyche... deeper... when he tears through him with that knife.' Then you followed it with a scene that was written in such a way I got a slight sense of panic... well done.
omg... sadly I laughed really hard when Andrei pinged Ivanov with a rock! Bahaha! Then Aaron stepped forward and I was seriously yelling at the screen. "No! no! Stop!" Fuuuuuck. God dammit. Smashed my hand on the desk.
Nice freakin' going, Andrei! Was not expecting that at all going into this chapter. Kudos on that
| J.Kuzzey 3/17/13 . chapter 77
I definitely feel like things are starting to slowly come together by this point. Oh my, I never get sick of the idea of May driving a tank. I can't help but giggle. Of course, the tank crew conversation made me laugh, like usual. Hm, interesting little conversation between May and Kai. I liked it. May is easily one of my favorite characters. She's such a badass.
-"The ghost got Andrei!"
I spit my coffee out. - Haha, totally laughed. God imagine what was going through his mind when he heard THAT name? Poor guy! Aaaand Ras. God dangit I knew I didn't like him for a reason. Still, I want to believe he actually does care somewhere deep down.
The scene inside the attic had me a bit nervous. Hiding out, knowing people just below are pretty much monsters. I would be freakin' out. That's heart attack inducing stuff. Nowhere to run, either. The "hypothetical questions" were pretty damn funny. Also, interesting to see what Andrei and Aaron are up to. He's probably got a lot going through his mind.
-"I'll explain it later, Mom." - Whaaa? This has to be the first time this was mentioned! I can't believe I'd miss something like that. Gosh dang. Connections everywhere! Stuff is definitely falling into place.
| J.Kuzzey 3/17/13 . chapter 76
Well my opinion of this doctor certainly spun around several times in this chapter. In the beginning, I thought for certain he was a legitimate nice guy. Yet by the end, I don't feel that way at all. I feel like he's just another asshole in this collection of jackasses haha. At the same time, though, I once again am reminded just how insanely bad this place is. Almost like there's no hope, no matter how hard people try, everyone's just going to let me down in the end by being a bad person. Then again, it's wrong to judge. I'm sure there's a lot more to it. At least, that's what I'd like to believe... Jack, dude needs to get his shit together. Laughed a little when he was kicked in the shin haha. Of course, it's easy for me to say that as a bystander. Nice to see that Alex will be able to use his hand like normal if he let's it heal properly. It'll be interesting to see if Jack makes it through this without getting his ass caught haha.
| J.Kuzzey 3/17/13 . chapter 75
I felt like this chapter had a slightly faster pace and rhythm to it. But it fits well. Thought it was interesting how Aaron avoided the "superstitious" gesture (sign of the cross, right?). Actually kind of funny how know one has any clue at all what that is supposed to mean, but they do it anyway, out of tradition and superstition more than anything. Commentary on religion, perhaps?
-"Your brother. A ghost."- My first reaction was to get super excited (been waiting for these two to reunite for, how long? 70 chapters?) but then I figured it wouldn't be under the best of circumstances. Of course its while there's complete chaos!
By the way, loved that they run into someone who is dying. It's interesting how Andrei just sort of accepts it; before anyone, really, and even says it matter-of-factually. He's obviously seen enough of this that he's getting immune to it. Aaron, on the other hand, just wasn't cut out to be a fight haha.
Alex got lucky. Really damn lucky. I panicked a bit when Kai got him. Then I had to sit through that thinking about how much his hand probably hurt, haha. Yeouch. Better than getting your throat slit, I imagine. Kind of want to punch Kai in the face for getting the others. Hard to say "they deserve it" after we've been through so many chapters together (haha!).
| J.Kuzzey 3/17/13 . chapter 74
Argh, the feels! Another interesting balance between serious and funny. Chief, Maks, and Tech are pretty damned hilarious. The scene with them trying to explain the death (fell onto a knife, down the stairs, out the window...) had me laughing really hard. I kind of let my guard down after the scene where May was trying to drive the tank, so when it went back to the story about her and Ryu I was vulnerable. Tried to put my guard back up, but then there was another funny scene, so every time it went back to May/Ryu, I was hit hard. Very nicely done. Love the fact that they called her "Andrei." We'll see how this goes, though. She seems to be just kind of going with the flow.
| J.Kuzzey 3/15/13 . chapter 73
-"He fell, I guess."
"Onto a knife?"-
Haha, great. The scene with Ras and Spiral was good. Showed how Ras doesn't really seem to be concerned with much. Well, he IS, he just isn't the kind to bother with 'the future.' I'd gotten that vibe from him before, but the oh-well, devil-could-care attitude showed up pretty prominently when Spiral was talking about how they need to be careful. They rely on him a good amount. Then the soldiers bust in, acting like complete dicks again. I've never really liked them (you do a good job of painting them as assholes), but there have been a few exceptions. I've got to say, the general majority of them appear to be complete dogs.
And then there's Jack... man I feel like his story so far as been a complete roller coaster. I never know what will happen to him next, where he will end up... same with May. This line - "Don't know. Got up one day. Fell out of my socket, rolled away." - made me giggle. Not sure if that was your intent or not!
| J.Kuzzey 3/15/13 . chapter 72
Hmm, a little different/new side to Ras there. It's taken me a while to warm up to him, but he seems like a legit guy. Still not 100% liking him, for some strange reason. And damn I really was not feeling it for the soldiers this chapter. Callous bastards, man. I would love to discuss with you sometime your general opinion on soldiers. Or maybe just soldiers that occupy. You definitely make them out to be assholes in this story lol.
When I read this part: "Just old, with weird stains in some places. Like over the heart and throat." I panicked slightly, haha. Uh, pretty sure most people don't survive if they have injuries in those areas. Use your head, Alex. And then... Kai! Holy crap! When was the last time he made an appearance?!
Wanted to mention with the arrival of Kai that you have yourself here a fairly large cast. Quite impressed; you've done a good job of giving them all their own personality and speech patterns. It's awesome.
- "But it's like herding cats, you know?" - Really random, but this is my mom's favorite saying. One day, I should tell you what she did for a living before she retired. It might fascinate you; most others find it interesting.