Wow... I know you probably get praised far too much for this story and I don't want to continue the circle jerk, but this is good stuff. Like, REALLY quality stuff. The characterization, the dialogue, the flow, the sense of mystery... you, sir, are a very strong writer.

You are without a doubt good... but you know what would make you great? A bite more detail.

Yeah I know you said you get a lot of flak about this and in a lot of ways I do see the lack of detail as a stylistic choice but believe me you can add a bit more meat to your prose without weighing down the flow. If you feel like you don't know how to add detail right than look into novels that are good at it.

Are you looking to write professionally? I don't say this lightly but I really think the lack of detail in your otherwise stellar style could be the difference between serious consideration for getting published or not.

Okay, this is officially getting good.

You have a way of bringing out your characters personalities and motivations with very little fluff. I like it.

So Andrei's bro is one of those creepy reapers? SHOCK AND GENERAL INTRIGUE!

So here am I, DH. Just read chapter 1 and 2. _

You have a VERY interesting prose. As of chapter 2 it lacks detail but I think you were going more for emotion than definition so it works.

Will read more when I have time.

Also, cryptic chapters are very cryptic.

Damn, I should have gotten around to this earlier. Your prose reads more like a narrative poem that doesn't rhyme than a story at times, and it gives the whole thing a sense of variety that many others can't seem to capture. I do feel like the last five chapters are moving a bit too fast and swap between too many narrations, though. After a while I started to lose my grasp on what was going on-not too much, but just enough where I had to look some things over again. Aside from that, the prose is fantastic and the characters are well-written. All in all, it's still very good, just slow it down a little.

Oh my gosh. Powerful, powerful prose in this chapter. Great job!

...Is Pascal dead? That's sad...I mean i know he's one of the antagonists but still!

*sigh* sunshine, those aren't badass names! You know what I think is badass? Isaac. Idk why. Maybe because im in love with Ike Davis and his name is Isaac...*feels the judgement*

Poor Dale. I dont know him but sad...Oh crap is Alexander dead? Damn, Andrie's life sucks...

Oh wait...nevermind. (i was reviewing this in parts, like how the story's divided...in case you didn't notice lol) ok so now i kinda like Alex...Inner turmoil! DX

Epic.

Although, that probably wasn't the best idea on Andrei's part. Nor the best idea on May's part to go along with it...

But still, it got them a gun...and a flag...

Inner termoil! DX

Anyway, Kai's really badass. Like, incredibly badass. I like him. Can I have him?

Wait, that's be weird...nevermind.

Why do so many people seem to have like, Russian names? Like Mikhail. Well maybe not all Russian but they all seem so foreign! I love it, but it confuses me...

Wowww I read this whole thing and just wanted to say how much I loved it :) Keep up the good work and I hope to see more soon XD Confusing but interesting, a beautifully creative mystery that I see myself reading up into the wee hours of the night just too finish. Just enough detail, and such unpredictable events that I never thought would've happened :) I'm also a writer, and just happened upon this site, though I could never write something this amazing :P love it.

Poor guy, being pushed around like that. That'd put his tough skin in a challenge- others can easily step on him and be as brash! Can't wait to see what Andrei is going to get himself into next.

At least he is fighting for a good reason.
Ras is such a bully. Good chapter! There's a lot of dialogue though and not enough description, but the dialogue works with the mood of the chapter.

As usual good pace, dialogue and plot progression.

I like the cliffhanger at the end. Also, improvement wise, where you have written "I nod." twice, I would perhaps write "I nod" *speach* Another nod. Or something, it just seemed a little repetative is all.

Anyway, good stuff so far :)

Another good chapter. Pace and dialogue up to par as usual.

I didn't think you needed a full stop between the last two sentences - "But I just walk away a little distance. And.."

It distracts a little from the pace and I think "But I just walk away a little distance and watch as .." gives the same effect but without the unnessery pause in between.

Just trying to help :D Don't take offense.

Take Care
Vicky

I like the inner termoil when rescuing the Reaper. I like the way May wants to save him regardless of who he is just because it's the right thing to do.

Well written and engaging, well done! :)

I like the way you put whispered speach into brackets as it made it clearer to read. Although I'm sure some people would frown upon not using tradional speach tags "" but it didn't really bother me.

As usual, good pace, dialogue and believable. It's an interesting world you have created. I enjoy reading about it. Good stuff :)

Interesting. Good description of the clock (how everything falls apart at the slightest alteration). I like that bit of dialogue.

Again, good pace and dialogue seems realistic. Spelling and grammar seems good to me.

Good stuff, well done :)

Hey again

I like the little poem at the end. Lol at the "You tryna poison me woman?" Haha. I could just hear that line in my head.

Good pace, dialogue in this one. Enjoying it so far.