To be honest, I saw this chapter in another block paragraph, and I lost interest straight away. Tried reading it, but only made it onto the second line... really, with the way it is written, I can't be bothered... please sort it out. Going on the last two chapters, you have a great story... please sort out spacing

another good chapter, but I have one MAJOR fault with it... it is just on block paragraph. Space it out more, it will make it much easier to read, I promise you. Give a speech sentence a line of its own.

Forward, to chapter three

A good first chapter, but it seems very cramped, and a little rushed. Moving onto chapter two

again, spacing... don't have it all clumped together in one paragraph, it looks messy

SPACING

Do you know how hard it was to read this chapter because it was all in one paragraph?

Split into two or three paragraphs, and more detail please- like the person your main character killed

Hmmmm... good first chapter, even if it has the feeling of been a bit rushed. will keep an eye on it

This was good, I enjoyed your lead-in to this story, and you showed survivor of the fittest rules does apply in your story. Poor Sanguine, but Sanguine saved your life from the flesh eating zombies. They way you kept the high school "cliq" still in place during this life and death situation was good. Everyone in the town being held up at the school is irony at its best. The pace of your story was really good, and well organization in content. I truly enjoyed reading this.

I liked this very much, it is well written and is filled with great imagery. Keep up the great work,

-Tyloris

it do

your story was awesome, as of now im also doing or writing a zombie apocalypse story, but in a different manner, anyways i think there's a lack of ahmm description of those undeads but the story so far was good, hope for the next chapter to come out soon,

Once of my favourites stories that i've read.

Awesome.