It should be noted that the influenza *injection* is inactivated. It's broken down pieces of key proteins from the virus. It is absolutely impossible to get an active influenza infection from the flu shot. On the other hand, the nasal inhaled vaccine is an attenuated active vaccine that has been made less virulent, but in a compromised individual can sometimes result in an active infection. You'd never give the nasal drop form of the flu vaccine to a patient like Megan, but you could certainly give the injection with no fear of causing an infection whatsoever (okay, well other than a contaminated product, injection site, or poor technique).

What might be an issue rather than fear of infection is simply whether it would do any good or not. If a patient has an extremely depressed immune response, they won't get any effective use of the vaccine. For Megan, as she recovers from her treatments she may get a solid rebound from her immune system...before it starts trying to kill her again (leukemia).

In defense of my own profession I will also note it would be a rare (and poor) physicians who would shy away from taking a patient like Megan simply over fear of liability unless there was something like a history of litigation by the parents or something. As long as we properly document our actions, there's not a lot of risk of liability with a patient like Megan. A bigger issue would just be time and confidence. Megan would take A LOT of time and skill to treat when/if she had nadirs in her condition, and rarely do insurance companies properly compensate for that when palliation is the goal. There's also the issue of confidently knowing what to do for such patients. Hospice helps, and in Megan's case it might make sense to have her on Hospice given she has turned away from cures and it appears she would warrant the six month prognosis. The problem comes when/if she outlasts her prognosis. In Hospice we see it all the time where patients get better with the intense support they get on Hospice, have to be dropped because they 'graduate', get worse without the extra care, get back on, and the cycle repeats over and over again. It's one of the many travesties of the current American health care paradigm.

It isn't uncommon at all for patients to improve initially when they stop chemo and radiation. With leukemia patients, though, the key is what her white count will be doing more than her red count. It's her white cells, or more particularly the stem cells of those white cells, which are trying to kill her.

Oh,and I suspect you know that the flu shot does nothing for 'stomach' flu. I'm interpreting that was just Ron's ignorance and that's why Abby was amused.

I'm glad to see Megan trying to contact her maternal grandmother. I hope that goes well.

And just what is happening with Ron and Abbey, hmm?

I am again so glad you are sharing this with us. I am excited to keep following the adventures of Megan and Ron as long as they last. :-)

Last chapter I forgot to mention I love Megan's sense of humor. "Afraid I'll get cancer?" "Whoops! Too late!" Sadly, it is very possible to get cancer on top of cancer, but it is common sentiment.

I also liked Megan's insight. "Perhaps we both need saving." Smart girl. I see foreshadowing here. ;-)

As far as this chapter, not much to say. A Gunny who knows his Keats...and a young one at that. I hope we get to know this young man better. He intrigues me. This is also the first actual evidence that Megan has more than a pity diploma. Hopefully we get more direct evidence of her having earned it.

As far as the quick house renovation, the only beef I have with it is the permits. Getting permits from a city government on such short notice seems nothing short of miraculous. Rome actually WAS built in a day. It was the paperwork that took most of the history of the Empire to process... :p

Anyway, another marvelous chapter. I'm addicted, just IV in the story from now on. ;-)

Gwen

Watching sunsets at the coast is one of my favorite past times. Most of them have been watched off the Oregon Coast, but I am familiar with Cali sunsets as well. I suspect my experience at Torrey Pines is very close to what Ron and Megan experienced in this chapter. Your imagery was stunningly beautiful. I have never seen a sunset rendered so well into words. I know I am getting cliche, but I could really see it.

And what can I say about the grill scene other than that my mouth is salivating a river now and I think I know what we're doing for dinner tonight. :p Seriously, I am amazed at how well you described such a mundane activity and made it special. How Megan reacted to the new smells, the neighbor, and kids. All of it was so mundane, and yet so magical in your skillful hands.

Even getting ready for bed. This whole chapter was just mundane life, and yet I know and love these characters so much better for having lived this evening with them.

Just three word choice nits, which is good. I'll stop mentioning the paragraphing and POV since I can add nothing new and I've said my piece. It isn't impeding me from reading this - the story is just too damn fine - but it does make me have to stop and puzzle at times, which breaks the flow of the experience.

Oh, and I thought it was cute how Ron curses around Megan and doesn't realize it. ;-)

Gwen

Like you, I'm a lucky girl to have a lifelong soulmate. I married my wife in Sept, 1990. After nearly twenty three years of marriage/partnering, and on top of that having known my lovely lady since I was ten years old, the only thing that frightens me more than life without her is life without our two children. Ron's thoughts of his long passed wife made me weepy. It really did make me think what it might be like to confront life as a single grandparent with my wife and children all gone. Add to the image Ron as a Marine guy taking on a little girl. You did a great job of bringing the emotions into the prose.

I live in PDX, but have spent lots of time in SoCal. I love the real imagery- adobe houses, sunshine and shades, eucalyptus trees, etc. And I love pomegranates. :-)

As before, great imagery. I am drawn more and more into these two people and am excited to see where you take us now.

On the critical end, I saw more of the same things I had noted in Ch 1-4. POV is still challenging in the same manner and if anything the nits are increasing. For the most part, we're talking word choice errors, things not caught by computer grammar and spell checkers. You might want to seriously consider a 'beta reader' to look over each chapter just before you are ready to publish/post it. Someone for whom it is fresh and new so they will see what's there and not what's supposed to be there.

Oh, and per the Secretary of the Navy, the term 'Marine' is a proper noun and should always be capitalized. This has always been the case as far back as I know. In 1994 the term 'Sailor' was also officially decreed to be a proper noun. In 2003 the term 'Soldier' was so decreed by the Secretary of the Army and in 2004 'Airman' by the Secretary of the Air Force. Given the sacrifices these men and women make for us every day, I agree with the sentiment of respect.

Once again, thank you so very much for sharing this story. This is some awesome storytelling and I am thoroughly enjoying it. :-)

Gwen

I really do hope you like truly constructive criticism because this review will be a two edged sword.

First off, the gushing. These two characters are alive in my head. Real. That's the highest compliment I can give an author. I'm former Navy from a Navy family and have known men like Ron. One of my clinical specialties (yes, I am a real doctor :p) is Hospice/Palliative Care, and sadly I have met girls like Megan and Miranda. The bravest human being I have ever known was a six year old dying of cancer. The pain was so extreme from a tumor that had grown through to outside of his little body that we literally couldn't keep up with it. He died in excruciating pain, and was thanking all of us to the very end for our efforts. This story is likely to be an emotional roller coaster for me since it's him that I keep seeing. So far your writing is a testament to him though, and I am smiling through the tears.

I'm going to say something I doubt you will hear from others. I hope you don't use a miracle to save Megan at the end. Death is part of life, and sometimes the innocent pass on before we'd want them to. As much as we want to rewrite the ending of so many tragic stories, in the real world these stories do end that way. It is the legacy left behind upon the living by these little heroes that is the true lasting miracle.

You have a gift for metaphor. It is a gift I can appreciate, but as yet have been unable to replicate consistently as a writer myself. I am a trained technical (medical) writer. Writing colorfully is a challenge. Not only the people in your story but the events are real. You do it, and do it well. I'm envious.

Okay, now on to the constructively critical part.

{"I know this is hard for you," he said. "I can appreciate being uprooted from your home... happened to me, a lot, when I was kid." Megan looked at him.

"Was your father in the military, too?" Ron nodded.}

As the above displays, I am having devil of a time trying to keep POV straight with your writing. You have Megan's actions attached to Ron's words, and then the flip right after it. Now look at this adjustment made just by judicious paragraphing.

{"I know this is hard for you," he said. "I can appreciate being uprooted from your home... happened to me, a lot, when I was kid."

Megan looked at him. "Was your father in the military, too?"

Ron nodded.}

This is just one example. There have been lots more instances of it throughout the story so far though Ch 4.

Trust me. You want to make reading as easy as you can for your readers. It's never a good thing if they have to re-read sections to try and puzzle out who is saying/doing what. Keep actions in a paragraph limited to the person speaking or else we poor readers can't visualize it and we get lost. Remember, this is all happening in your head, so it's obvious for you. For us, you need to paint a clear picture or else it's muddled.

It wasn't an issue in this chapter, but I'll also note in earlier chapters there were some really looonnnggg paragraphs. These are also hard for readers to wade through and slows the reading process down, causing people unconsciously to slide over the wall of words and space right over it. In general, it's suggested paragraphs should be no more than four, maybe five sentences if you can help it. In an action sequence this can drop to one to two in a paragraph if you really want to convey excitement.

Beyond that, I've noted more than a few nits- missing words, incorrect words, etc. It may be your QA has gotten better over time so I'm not too worried. It's nothing having a competent editor review the work fresh before it gets posted/published wouldn't fix.

So yeah, incredible story. I'll be eagerly following it through to its conclusion. Thank you for sharing it and I look forward to getting a chance to buy it for my Kindle when it's done. :-)

Gwen

Ron is funny, especially that last little vignette. Perhaps there will be a little romance thrown in after all?

It is unfortunate when parents allow disagreements with their children to cause a separation. The most that we can do is to teach our children right and wrong and how to love. After that, we have to let go and let them live.

Well, we now know that Megan is actually getting stronger. That's wonderful news. And now we have the good doctor and potentially a maternal grandmother. I don't know if the plot is thickening or simply getting more delectable :-)

Either way, it is a delight to the senses and to the heart. Keep up the grand work.

Another wonderful chapter. I'm happy to see Megan seeming to be doing so well and getting stronger. And yes, Nora seems to be a very interesting potential addition to the plotline ;-)

Can't wait for the next chapter.

Glad to read this story again. It is amazing how much I have become invested in Megan's continued life and... hopefully... burgeoning health. That is the mark of a gifted writer, so thank you for sharing.

I noted two corrections:

"had come quite a bit of our her shell"... "our" should be "out"

"excplained" (self-explanatory)

Ron's entire outlook on life and pushing himself will probably carry over and do great things for Megan. Having something that she loves will also make a huge difference. I'm pleased to see a new chapter. Thanks.

Ah, and the Martin finally makes its appearance :-) Great job and I love the Chet Atkins tie-in. There are so many beautiful classical pieces that have been arranged for the guitar, I can't wait to see what you come up with next. Hopefully our boys in camo haven't left us for good. I love their interaction with Megan. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Again this chapter is fantastic, loved it!
Loved how you added the nurse as well, i like reading about Megan with her mature personality interacting with people. In the first chapter you wrote about this guy Johnny with two girls her age and for them to visit when they are settled in, are you gonna have that happen?
Im glad the guitar finally showed up, i looked up that song and its pretty good. Ilike classical music, i grew up with it thanks to my grampy as i stay at his house on weekends and we watch opera and ballet and listen to all sorts of classical music.
Any i look forward to the next chapter.
- Shay

Out of curiosity: is this how you perceive music? I have heard music described as "bubbles" by one extremely gifted musician, so I know that some people do actually "see" music. Do you personally have that gift or are you echoing a description from someone else?

An excellent chapter. I'm glad that we finally arrived at the guitar chapters. Now I hope that the next chapter is as quick as this one was.

It is good that Megan is healing her grandfather just as much as she is helping him. When will he give her the guitar?

She truly is and interesting young genious. Her illness has grounded her and kept her from being obnoxious like so many young geniouses become. Both characters... in fact, all of the characters grow more likeable with each chapter.

One correction. You typed: "A thing pair of arms circled his waist." I think you meant "thin"

Another amazing and well detailed chapter! Megan is soo adorable and very amusing to read; i like her character and how she interacts with people and everday life. I'm actually wondering about her life expectency and stuff.. also will she contact or be contacted by that nurse that she was attached to back at the hostipal?
The part with her choosing colors was also very cute!

Please update soon,
- Shay :)