Thank you for this. I haven't laughed this hard for (how long has it been?) TWO ENTIRE MINUTES.

Very witty. Very funny. Did you mean reiterate when you said alliterate? Alliteration the cat crept into the crypt... or the toad tugged a toe or something like that. But still, it was particularly awesome. :)

Jeez... people won't take that advice, but sometimes I think that a set of rules like this would be better that women starving themselves and stuff. Good job.

This should be "top ten ways to generate weird looks in high school." :)

Wow! I'm lucky! I found another silly one, today.

Quite liked the first 2 suggestions, and the whole,"I killed him for his last stick of gum..."