I like the melodious tone of this because it gives the lull of a sad lullaby of sorts, or one of those speeches you give in funeral. A nice gentle sadness hull which really suits the context it's in as opposed to something looser and harder.

I don't like this line [Her body remains as beautiful as a swan.] because it's too long and breaks the rhythm. "beautiful as" seems unnecessary.

(FP is being stupid and won't let me sign in)

So. This poem is beautifully written. I really liked it. Keep up the good work. :-) Oh. You should pm me. Thanks and keep up the good work.

Another good one. Strong start.

That was actually quite good.

Good job, very sad and morbid. Yet the last line...what was it... "I will just move on like a pawn." That seems too rhyme-y to me. If you had said something more like "I have no hopes of moving on" I would've liked it a bit better. (I'm a fan of drama!)

-Keep up the good work! :)