Broken windows? Oh Myyy! I'm somewhat intrigued by this wet, squishy creation that she has concocted...

I like it :) So far, seems great. I'll have to read more _

Jake seemed to be having a bunch of Spock moments this chapter. What is love? What is jealousy? If i'm not a cat then why do I so despise being wet?

Is he going to be called Jerrico from now on? Might get a little confusing.

Also, Diana was very... sassy. I feel like Sam should have argued her point a little further?

Loved the chapter!

This chapter was a little confusing for me. All the characters knew what they were talking about but as a reader it was hard to understand. You’ve done a great job at describing the details of the setting but when you dump a conversation like that on the reader it kind of disrupts the flow of the story. A lot of writers have a character just for that, someone who isn’t familiar with the world being described or the setting so the reader can identify with her/him and learn with that character. I know that’s not the only way, but maybe consider something to make it a little easier to understand.

Also, did Diana forget Jake’s birthday? Or, like, day-of-his creation, because I’m just imagining her baking a cake or something and icing on “You’re the best horrible mistake I ever made!”.

Great chapter, liked the detail in the setting and description. The relationships between the characters are interesting, especially all the relationships Diana seems to have. I'm really hoping you explore some of them. Again though, spelling seems to be an issue and made the chapter a little hard to read.

Loved the dragons and unicorns. Too cool, bro.

Wow it took me while to get to this. My emails gone all faulty and I didn’t get alerted.

I like that you put so many strong personalities in one room and they all managed to shine through. You write dialog really well, I think. Actually, your whole story is really complex, nothing seems to be just black and white which I really love. And the information your giving out seems nicely paced.

I don’t have any criticisms really, which I guess can either be taken as bad on my part or good on yours. Thanks for giving me a shout out too, it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

haha plot I see you! I really liked this chapter, but I think maybe you should read over your work a little more before posting. You spelled Knox as Nox a couple times and I'm assuming they're the same person... creature... character whatever. Very good chapter though, moves the story along nicely.

This is getting complex and regularly better as it goes on. Very minor spelling errors, but I can't seem to make myself care. Wouldn't mind a more detailed description on Jake. I assume he's changed and grown from the first chapter. I'm genuinely excited for more!

Wow, the second chapter was even better than the first. I may be a little late to the party, though, seeing as I don't think you've been on for over a month. Oh well, hope you don't mind if I review all the same. I really like where this is going!

Aside from the spelling mistakes, I liked this. The beginning was a little dull but it got better as it went. I am now thoroughly curious. Good job!