|Reviews for Caught in a Mirror|
| YellowWomanontheBrink 11/18/12 . chapter 2
I actually had to reread the first chapter twice to understand what was going on, but it was a fairly interesting concept. I absolutely loved the second story. What it's the name of the fairytale you based it off of? I want to check it out. ;)
I think I might go loo at your epic fantasy next, because you write really well. Got a quick read, I really liked these two.
| Ulquiorra9000 11/15/12 . chapter 1
That's a pretty neat identity crisis story, and from the perspective of a living reflection. That's exploring some pretty new territory if you ask me. Reminds me of a "choose your own adventure" book by RL Stein I read where your reflection breaks free, traps you in a mirror-room, then runs off to live your life.
| scrubbybubbles 9/28/12 . chapter 1
This was a very unique story all the way from the very start. You did a wonderful job at blurring the distinction between the real and the mirror version, which added to the sense of intrigue already created from your language usage. Perfectly done in regards to the amount of description you set forth, for it made the story seem all the more realistic. And that's what makes strange (in a good way), since you (as a reader) can almost believe that something like this could actually happen. I also enjoyed how you had such an attention to detail as to how a "reflection" would act in a situation like this. For instance, you mentioned how "the mirror person" had become right-handed, which makes perfect sense. Even better was how you juxtaposed the middle paragraphs (where the mirror person was talking) next to the first and last (where the real person was talking) without explicitly stating the shift. In addition, there were two lines in your piece that I particularly liked; I will post them below:
"Look, the watch shows a pretty number! It's time to steal his soul!"
"I had no past, leaving me with an unknown future. Perhaps that's why babies cry all the time."
Although you're story was quite good, it was riddled with little errors. Sorry if it seems like I'm rewriting parts of your story, just trying to help! Feel free to incorporate any of the following revised sentences into your work. Anyways, great job with this piece; I'm glad that I stumbled across it!
Revised- "Someone once told me that if you looked into a mirror at exactly 3:33 A.M., dark forces would empower your reflection to steal your body, thereby locking your soul in a inescapable prison of glass." Original- "Someone once told me that if you looked into a mirror at 3.33 a.m., dark forces would empower your reflection to steal your body, locking your soul in its own prison of glass."
Revised- "That demons and evil spirits were enslaved to the will of GMT and ruled by the" Original- "That demon and evil spirits would use GMT and be ruled by the"
Revised- "I consider the fact that I question even the strangest of things to be a funamental flaw in my character, especially when it came to the whole body-stealing thing. Because not only was I wrong, but I also had the opportunity to watch it happen...to me." Original- "It's a basic problem with me, how I always question the strangest things. Another problem would be the body-stealing thing. It has already happened… to me."
Revised- "but then I realized that no one would believe me anyway; it was just too implausible to be true." Original- '"but then I figured that no one would believe me anyway, not in any case."
Revised- "It's one of those little things that no one seems to notice." Original- "It's these little things that no one seems to notice."
Revised- "wondering why why there was a strange emptiness where a reflection should be." Original- "wondering at the strange emptiness where a reflection should be."
Revised- "watching people whom I didn't quite know" Original- "watching people whom I not quite knew"
Revised- "which must not only follow as a shadow, but also must disappear with just a change in position." Original-"which must follow like a shadow and disappear with the slightest changes of position."
| Total Light 7/30/12 . chapter 1
Wow, that's... deep. Very good!
| dream-beautiful 7/17/12 . chapter 1
Wow. So well written. I read the first sentence and thought, Fuck, I'm screwed. I tend to be a bit of a nightowl and if I happen to glance at the clock at 3:33 am I know I'll just be sitting there all freaked out and avoiding mirrors. I liked the simplicity of it, and the fact that it was so un-pretentious or presumptuous. Most the stories I find like this - the ones that are short and mysterious and really make you think - tend to be that way. It's nice that this isn't. Good job!
| sylvetta 6/5/12 . chapter 1
Awesome! Love the different perspective :) I like the emotions.