Nice first chapter. You have me hooked. Looking forward to the next one.

Well, I'm glad I somewhat gave you motivation to keep writing(: And, honestly, I don't like these diary entry things as much as when you write the actual story, but I won't judge and I will still read it!(:

[because of that Indian crap we had to do] Is "crap" appropriate to the slang of the time?

I like the switch to the full chapter of diary because it gives the readers a better insight to the thoughts of the characters, which is an important part of the story. I wonder if you'd consider switching to diaries entirely? The third person point of view doesn't add anything unique that the first person doesn't.

I also like the mention of skinny dipping. It's a nice glimpse into these two just having fun as friends. I'd like to see more about moments like that.

-Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)

Ah, there's some character development. They seems to be enjoying this bloodbath quite a bit. While this makes me dislike them a lot, from a reader's standpoint, I liked seeing a different side to them. I hope their morality will evolve over the course of this trip.

The end of this chapter felt very tacked on. This was more of a business transaction than a friendship, so why are these people suddenly so accepting of the white men they normally despise? It felt like you took a leap in the plot with too many assumptions for the readers to follow.

I like the introduction of the diary. It seems like a great tool to add some depth as the story progresses. I can just picture something happening to them and someone else finding the diary...but I'm getting ahead of myself, now, aren't I?

[warriors from the Furdew tribe (I made that tribe up FYI.)] No need for the author's note within the story. No matter what name you give us, your readers will just roll with your authority as the author. Out of curiosity, though, why did you make one up when research is so readily available to use a real one?

I like how the Indians proposed this deal with them. It's sort of a taste of the dangers to come, but this one worked out in their favor, while I doubt later hardships will.

Now, the interaction with these people would be a great chance to develop their characters more. How do they feel about these people? Do they think they're uncivilized barbarians? Are they fascinated by the culture? What's their moral stance on aiding in this battle? Etc.

I like how you started just an hour in. It made me go, "Oh man, they have no idea what's in store." Nice way to build up the tension.

Going back to what I was saying about pacing, this jumped a lot with the whole "one hour later, five more hours, another day," etc. The way this is laid out, it just feels like you're relaying events rather than telling them. Take some more time to explore their friendship and their pasts as they're on the road. It would be great to have a backstory to them before they get into the meat of the action.

Hey there! Unrelated to the story, but your username reminds me of Howl's Moving Castle :)

I love the feel of this. It's all comfortable and familiar between friends and family, but you also know the very real sense of danger behind everything. I like the mention of the friend they lost to suggest the darker side of this.

In general, I'd suggest slowing down. Your dialogue is good, but try to pad it with more description in between so your readers get a better sense of where your characters are and what they're doing.

A nitpicky note:

[Two young men wearing western outfits] This description is a little too geared toward your readers. They wouldn't refer to their own outfits as "Western."

-Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)

I think the battle scene was plenty long enough. I like the 3rd person point of view and how you used it. This is a good story in general - but I think you're right about this chapter being rushed. Still good though.

I like this, but at first I was kind of put out by the fact that you had chosen the two most simple and commonly used names in the book, but it seems to fit in with the time period and their personalities. Well written.