Hm. Poor fellow is a bit angsty isn't he? I do believe that, over time, this story could develop into something really good. But please try and make Brent have more layers to his personality then just angst and self-hatred. If he's just going to moan and groan about how terrible his life is,this story won't get anywhere. I've read your fanfictions, and I believe that as a writer, you show promise. Just remember to make Brent a likeable character, give this story unexpected twists and turns, and don't make your characters Mary-Sue's, and you should be all set! Best of luck.