|Reviews for Without a Name|
| Summer Blooms 10/22/12 . chapter 5
This is so sad! But it's really well written, and I can't wait for more!
| Summer Blooms 10/22/12 . chapter 4
Well, I guess he knew the consequences...right? Will Adelina's heart ever heal? And will the bartender be the one who heals it?
| Alaeryel 9/17/12 . chapter 5
OMG OMG OMG-PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE MORE OF THIS STORY! GOD HOW I WANT TO STRANGLE HER MOTHER AND PLUNGE THE BIGGEST KNIFE IF CAN FIND IN THAT DETESTABLE WOMAN'S HEART-ACTUALLY NO I THINK A GUILLOTENE WOULD BETTER SUIT THIS SITUATION! AND YESSSSSS I AM YELLING VIA COMPUTER (but not at you)! LOL Again you had me BAWLING LIKE A BABY FOR BOTH OF THEM! I REALLY DO HOPE THAT DEMON GETS HER COME UPPANCE! OUT OF THIS WORLD WRITING Req and OUT OF THIS UNIVERSE STORY!
| Alaeryel 9/17/12 . chapter 4
WHAT THE HELL GIRL-NO BLOODY WAY-he can't have been killed already-sh** crap etc... YOU MADE ME BAWL! I could FEEL that fu**in noose close around his neck and I FELT Adelina's FEAR, SHOCK, LOSS and can ALMOST SENSE the HATRED she must be FEELING for her mother-JUST KILL ME NOW AND GET IT OVER WITH PLEASE-I don't know if I can take much more of this Req-but you have TOTALLY OUT DID YOURSELF ON THIS CHAPTER!
| Alaeryel 9/17/12 . chapter 3
WGAT THE BLOODY HELL Req-you already threw me into a hissy fit with this twist-for some reason I thought Vincenzo was the noble and Adelina was the peasant-GREAT JOB WITH THE SHOCK! I hate her mother and she needs to be hung! OMG those poor kids-love is more than anything in this world-AGAIN PERFECTION AND EXCELLENCE ABOUND!
| Alaeryel 9/17/12 . chapter 2
DAMN my HEART is BREAKING for Adelina already and I don't know the whole story but I technically know what happens just not the full extent! Req what a WONDERFUL JOB you are doing with this story!
| Alaeryel 9/17/12 . chapter 1
OMG Req-I think I have found another story of yours that I AM FALLING IN LOVE WITH! I ABSOLUTELY ADORE Adelina already and I had to laugh at Vicenzo's antics-AGAIN GREAT WRITING and BEAUTIFUL STORY!
| Victoria Best 6/16/12 . chapter 2
Wow, I really like this! You have a great plot developing here touching upon some serious, complex but intriguing themes such as forbidden love. It was very well-written, filled with effective, thought-provoking narrative and fascinating characters. This is amazing! :')
The writing of this in general was very strong, creating an intriguing narrative and there were no grammatical errors that I could see, which shows you have taken your time to really perfect this. I like how you varied your sentence structures for effect and to keep the story entertaining, for example when you placed the word "Unacceptable" on its own and included italics for emphatic stress, for example "who dared to disturb her?" I particularly love the description. In some places it was absolutely stunning, for example when you describe how the "Water in her eyes finally dissipated" and also when you describe the "Small flickers of rusted lamps inside a tavern were visible through the night's oblivion." That was incredible! Your use of description not only creates a beautiful image and really enhances the story, but also enables your readers to clearly visualise everything and build up a clear picture of everything that is happening in your story.
In addition, I also love the dialogue. It was very well-written and felt so believable, and I could actually imagine the characters saying those things. I was a little worried about how you might approach this, because as your story is set in the Victorian Era, it is only natural that your characters must sound like they are from that era, and I think you tackled this brilliantly. I know that writing believable dialogue can be hard for some writers, but you have really nailed it! :D I love all their conversations. They are so sweet! I really want them to be together, but I know even the thought of a peasant and a noble was taboo in that society. This is a compelling story and I cannot wait to read more and see where Vincenzo and Adelina's forbidden relationship will lead them. Some parts of the dialogue I particularly enjoyed were when she asks "Did I say you could sit?" and he wittily replies with "You never prohibited it." Haha! That was so sweet! Some other sections i liked were "Just the pretty ones" and "Because I gave it to you, so now I have no name. Give me yours." That was just amazing. You have used dialogue here not only to show the characters' communication and the development in their relationship, but also to enhance their personalities and help us build up a clear image of them. It is so effective and really impressive. Sometimes you don't even use dialogue and it is still effective, for example the piece of non verbal communication "Hm?"
Also, you portray emotions brilliantly. "Love? , blind love. Such naivete." That sentence shows that Adelina clearly doesn't believe in love, or at least has never believed that she could ever fall in love. To some extent it even suggests that she is actually apprehensive and worried about her emotions, because she feels herself that she is falling love, and is perhaps even scared that she is. I think she would be scared of falling in love anyway, but now it's truly dangerous because it is simply not accepted in their society, and she could be horrendously punished for her actions. You have created a brilliant character we can really empathise with. You show her emotions so well and it was heartwarming when she told him she loved him in this chapter. The ending to this chapter was heartbreaking where you elaborate on Adelina's strong philosophy that there is no such thing as love and she is incapable of feeling it, strongly believing her heart beats only "Out of habit." :'( That was so sad! She is clearly quite a damaged person and it's compelling to watch her and see what she will do next. I know that she could be happy with Vincenzo, but she is so closed off and detached from the world that because she so strongly believes she won't love anyone, she has in effect forced herself not to love anyone. In other words, she has broken herself to save herself from getting hurt.
There were some parts that were not as strong. I am unsure why the second half of chapter one and this chapter are in italics. Is it because those are mainly dialogue-driven sections with her and Vincenzo in? I think it is a little unnecessary and just gets distracting to read. Also, in these sections I think that there was a little too much dialogue and not enough about how the characters actually looked when saying those things. Sometimes a little note on body language or eye contact can add more depth and meaning to their speech than the words themselves. Just watch out for that, and even if you are trying to push the dialogue alone for effect, it can get a little hard to visualise everything without these sorts of prompts to help us.
This is more of a personal note, but I would have liked to have seen something more certain and clearer about their personalities at the beginning of the story so that I can compare the characters with how they have grown and developed as people by the end of the story. Adelina was described well, but I know nothing about what Vincenzo is like as a person, save that he is a bit of a slimeball, and that's not exactly the most flattering image I have of him and certainly does not encourage me to empathise with him. Also, in the first chapter, you switch for styles of narrative. I thought the story was only based around Adelina and her thoughts, but then you slip to a far more omniscient narrator when you begin describing the bartender's thoughts, for example "She couldn't possibly have been... No!" I think it would be better to stick to one style of narration and I would avoid an omniscient narrator, simply because it takes away the fun of your readers working out the other characters' thoughts and emotions on their own and coming to their own conclusions and building up their own perceptions of them. It would enable your readers to keep thinking and asking questions rather than just passively reading.
Otherwise this is a brilliant story and I cannot wait to read more! You are a very talented writer. This si going on my favourites list! Keep writing and following your dreams! :D
| DarlingLiquids 6/15/12 . chapter 5
I just completely fell in love with the running-towards-the-figment scene. It was beautiful. I can't wait for the next chapter.
| Serapheana 6/14/12 . chapter 4
Brilliant. Regrdless of how any times I've read this entire story over and over and over (yes, there is one more 'over') again, it still manages to get my heart wrenching-oh-so-painfully. Good job, Rec.
| DarlingLiquids 6/14/12 . chapter 4
Please tell me he's just unconscious. :'(
| DarlingLiquids 6/14/12 . chapter 3
Oh my gosh. My breath is caught in my throat. I don't want Vincenzo to be killed.
| DarlingLiquids 6/12/12 . chapter 2
I really enjoy this story. It's VERY entertaining. Update soon please.
| foreveranonymous 6/11/12 . chapter 1
Amazing first run. Their chemistry is so cute; love the victorian twist.