Okay, where to start. I really love your ideas. You have a really, creative and descriptive writing style that can help people to visualise what you are.

But. Always a but, I'm going to warn you that I'm not being mean. I'm sorry if it does come out wrong. I think your summary reveals too much about your story. It's supposed to entice the readers, not reveal your entire story. Though, I admit your story is very enthralling and can keep someone's interest.

You should write more, explore your characters because the best stories are written by authors who understand their characters and know them as if they were real people. I can't really symphathise with your main character, because I don't really know her and I'm not sure if you do either. What motivates her? What does she dream about? How does she think?

But otherwise. You are a fantastic author. If you explored your characters, and expanded on this idea. I would definitely pick this up at a bookstore and buy it.

With all respect,

LadyKnight. (: