I love how you wrote the prologue. except for the first sentence, it's grammatically incorrect, don't you think? It should be 'THERE lived two children...' ;)

I am really enjoying this so far. The plot is great, as is your style of writing. However you need to work on your grammar. On the first word you used "their" instead of "there". Their is used when something belongs to a person but not in the context which you used it in. Also at the end of the second chapter you used "than" instead of "then". Than is used in quantitys (more than) and then is used for time. Also you didn't introduce Travis properly. The only reason I knew who he was is I remembered the summery and I figured it out.

Melody is a bit too naive, I don't think being that naive is even healthy. Just kidding. But I think it would be better if you sober her up a bit

Okay, I am now officially confused, who is Travis and why did he come where out of pity,its a little more than nerve wracking.

Hold, on I think it would've been a little bit better if you specified melody's life, like maybe her last name, and the group of boys, I really don't think that they'd just go up to any old girl and start pulling her hair, and her just standing there, letting them do it, it puts a sort if boring picture in your mind if you know what I mean.

This was a great story you should write more. I really want to see what happens.

Hey, It's me again, looking through your stories ). This one is a little different than the others, but I'm still liking it. It has a faster pace and is direct- I like it D

Now hoping for another review, ILLUSIONS OF THE LEOPARD please, but thanks for the poem D!

Dont stop writing.