This story is rlly rllly rlly rlly amazing!
I can't wait to see what happens with Lia and the elf that smells like winter spices :D

as soon as i read the first paragraph i wanted to read till the last. keep writing. from what i can tell the setting of your story is renaissance. you might want to work on your authenticity. for instance the fact that the minimum age for marriage is 18. a suitable age would have been much younger at the time. i do enjoy your twists on well known folk lore, and you are a talented writer. i hope to read more from you.

If I ever need to kidnap someone, I will be sure to take a lesson from Alvas. How can he do the kidnapping and still seem to have such good intentions nonetheless? I enjoy his determination and lack of scruples. It's obvious he's gentle and kind while at the same time violating Lia's basic dragonpeople rights. I find myself wondering what it would be like to be kidnapped by Alvas, or even be the one doing the kidnapping. I found it interesting how Lia was forced to relax because her dragon was about to fall off. All in all, it was a very gentle kidnapping, in line with the rest of the story. It really makes me think.

Poor Lia must feel so confused and betrayed right now. I enjoyed Mac's character in this chapter, he is such a fatherly figure.

Jesse's awake!

It's such a sweet story. The brotherly love between them just makes me want to melt. I suddenly feel the urge to obtain an older brother.

Most stories rush into the action. Nothing much has happened with regard to plot increase these few chapters, yet I don't feel that any time has been lost here. I'm very happy for the chance to watch the interactions between Oren and Jesse through Lia's eyes. It makes me care for the characters so much more.

Yay! Just as I thought! Deeper Oren characterisation. I'm glad of the time you're taking to build up each of your characters.

Jesse's history was very interesting to me. I thought that bonding was a deliberate process, and Jesse's ability to bond with a wild dragon was something I never thought would happen. This makes me wonder more about dragonpeople. Can they become dragonpeople by accident, or for others would it be a kind of inheritance, fate or destiny. I'm also starting to feel curious as to where dragons come from, and how there are so many types.

I really need to read on now, to see what happens to Jesse!

Greater like for Oren! He's scary but cool and dependable. I like how he seems like a warrior, but at the same time he is capable of healing his own brother. His care for Jesse is endearing. His scar really suits him, and explains why he's more reserved. I find myself speculating that he received it while defending someone he loved.

I feel that Jesse's an idiot, to put his life in such danger unnecessarily. He should honestly have had the wound seen to, especially since Araknyds are known to be venomous.

Interestingly, I wonder how the dragon will be treated! Did it just fall unconscious with Jesse? That was slightly disappointing to me, as a figured that Calaurin would at least be capable of seeking help for his human. How will they heal Calaurin, considering that the dragon has no visible wound?

Happy to have read this.

This was an interesting chapter. The movement is slow, but I can see that a few key things are placed here: Rusalka gets along with Jesse's dragon, and the mystery of Lia's rescuer is slowly coming to light. At the same time, I'm definitely feeling an increase in romantic tension between Jesse and Lia. You have a very strong feel for emotions, and even the slightest nuances are expressed so well in this chatper.

Once again, I love the slow shyness of this story that draws me to it over and over again. The following phrase I felt to be most iconic in your story.
[Jesse and Calaurin sat a little way in front of Eadair Hall. Lia remained where she was, twisting her fingers together. How was she going to approach them?]

You can't leave us on a cliffhanger after not updating in so long! More more more ... please that is. We all are busy and have a life but that is just cruelty . . . Lol I am just messing with you but seriously more! I hope (if you are american) thanksgiving was good loved this chapter!
Much love,
Sarah/blondiej1

I felt a lack of romantic tension at the beginning. I assume that it was because both parties were feeling rather self conscious. However, maybe it didn't need to be explicit. It would have been interesting as a reader simply to know where Jesse's eyes were looking, for example at Lia, or shyly looking away, or perhaps even nonchalantly gazing at the river.

Midnight dragon is cool. Especially given how the humans tend to take on dragon characteristics. I do enjoy the distinction between Jesse, Oren and Alvas, made easier by their temperaments and the types of dragon they are bonded to.

And I really like how Jesse and Lia are taking their time to get to know each other, and looking forward to seeing how this relationship develops.

This story is really sweet.

Ha, I wonder who the guests are. Actually, I have strong guesses.

The water and rivers are very strong symbols in this story, without being perfectly central to the plot. It's a really interesting feeling I have when reading this chapter, as with most chapters in your stories. It is like everything is suffused with this warm, gentle light. That's your writing style.

I really enjoyed the emotionality in the chapter. And you took your time to bring it out, so the play was very nice. In many ways, I was able to relate to Lia's fear, and caution, maybe even shyness at the approach of the armed elves. It's not an easy feeling to capture, and I felt you did it very well. You contrasted the natural caution she would feel in a foreign environment with the safety of the place and the father's gratitude, and a less skilled author might have found that overwhelming, but nothing was forced in your writing and it was all very well done.

I like the elves. The aura they exude just feels perfect and is a natural foil to Lia's shy courage (not an oxymoron here). They are distant, powerful and garner respect just by their appearance, yet at the same time they are gentle and full of 'human' emotion. I do hope Irsavon will come back.

"Because...because it wouldn't be in their interests to lie to me any more than it would be in mine to lie to them."
I found this line interesting in the story, because I felt that this chapter was very powerfully moved by emotionality rather than reason. Here Lia is obviously trying to rationalise her actions, but in truth they were motivated more by emotion than anything.

YOU'RE ALIVE! :D

And you bring gifts!

The elves remind me of Ewoks, living in the trees, or maybe I'm still on my "finally got around to seeing Star Wars for the first time" high and I'm relating everything to Star Wars.

But no more scaring me like that, alright? It may take a while to write a chapter, but after nearly a month I start worrying.

This is really good. I love the dragons :)

"Lia suddenly wanted to rest her head on his shoulder. ...No. I mustn't. As much as I may want to, I mustn't"

JUST PUT YOUR HEAD ON THE MAN'S G*DD*MN SHOULDER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST

... ahem.

I don't always ship, but when I do, God bless all who stand in my path :)

Anywho.

This chapter reminded me of Christopher Paolini a bit- not the info dumping or the "here's the hidden meaning in the last sentence" bit, but the thinking-of-everything bit. I don't have the sentence on copy (due to above) but when Lia was knitting, it was mentioned how she had to be careful about not tangling the yarn. It's those little things that make things all the more realistic.

D:

That did /not/ go the way I wanted it to.

They were alone. In the /bedroom./

-shakes head-

Ah well. At least there was some Lia/Elaine bonding, I always love some sisterly bonding :3