|Reviews for THE IDDOCY|
| Lynn K. Hollander 6/20/12 . chapter 1
Well, the presentation is very strange and needs work.
1) What is the unexplained list of characters and other names doing here? There are no linguistic correlations between the names.
2) The punctuation is way off: Domitian woke up, then it hit him "Today's the day,I can finally join the army" he yelled punching the he remembered he had to check whitch leigon was hiring men. and very definitely you should use your spell check program. Try something like this: Domitian woke up, then it hit him!(OR OTHER FULL STOP HERE) "Today's the day,I can finally join the army(COMMA HERE)," he yelled punching the ?MISSING WORD HERE? he remembered he had to check whitch(SPELLING) leigon(SPELLING) was hiring men.
Take some time to read it over and make all the necessary corrections. This is too rough to post as it is.