It is actually a detailed story/plot, if you ask me. Kay, you actually know how to make things look detailed without overdoing it. Good job.

At least you've managed to show your characters in different lights; The "past" point of view helps a lot. It's like in those anime CDs when the protagonist remembers something which helped him become who he was.

Nice but it seems a bit weird in some places. something like "just out of the oven" thing. you should Refine it more before uploading and excluding casual expressions can help cuz its u who's expressing your imagination... so its not fun that way. NICE plot by the way & u should really consider keeping someone as a beta reader.

wow.

Kei-chan! You must update! This is EPICCCC and thrilling.

You made me pity Soel at first, but now he's a cool bounty hunter with giant weapons. xD I like how this chapter made him run into the first character. Somehow the robots and the gate remind me about Phantasy star. If you ever update it, please message me through fictionpress or tinierme.

-Thefoxofspades

Well, let me say that this is EPIC!

Your prologue drew me in Kei-chan! I loved how you described everything, from the electric sparks to the solitary figure. Your words made it easy to imagine the setting and surroundings.

The last sentence makes me want more.

(*I shall now proceed to the next chapter :D)