Interesting title.

Okay...what to say. I like the formal language of this tone; it wasn't what I was expecting, however it gave an air of illusion about it. A good subtle way to represent the idea of secrets and lies and a fabricated surface of the mind (or any partially synonymous term).

I don't like the ends "keep", "think", brink" and to some extent "uncouth and "extreme" because the harder sounds of them interfere with the softer sounds that permeate the rest of your fic. It had a nice melody until I bumped into some of those harder sounds - it becomes more important at the beginning and ends of lines I think. The "k" sound in particular is a tad jarring, but that's a small critique in a rather well done poem.

Ohana