|Reviews for A Gift of Time|
| ZeroGain 2/11/13 . chapter 1
It's fun to return to Tassamara. Though I've read this opening before, I like this revision. You maintain your minimalist style, which is great and I love it.
I realize that Nat is dealing with the loss of her family home in this chapter, but I'm not sure I feel her enough or that she's dramatic enough about her loss of future memory. I'm not sure I'd correct it yet, I want to see how events play out first.
This chapter is definitely for a person familiar with the characters. I like that.
| Guest 2/7/13 . chapter 1
Nice, shiny new version of chapter 1. It's very interesting that, in this version, Nat has much more control over her precog than before. Here's a few things I spotted:
but Rose had grown up in the days when the cool springs made summer bearable
The juxtaposition of 'cool springs' and 'summer' had me reading this twice before I figured out 'springs' refered to water, and not the season. And I'm not aware of any springs in the middle of the Ocala National Forest, only along the rivers.
Natalya and her father, Max, could foretell the future.
How about 'got glimpses of the future'? 'Foretell' implies to me a more comprehensive knowledge of what will happen than I've seen them get in the stories.
If she asked what they were talking about, Akira would answer with words like 'quantum field theory' and 'duality transformations' and 'scalar potential energy.'
How about adding on ', leaving Nat knowing nothing more.'
"What are you two on about?" Grace pulled her arm away from Lucas.
Do you mean 'going on'?
"Oh, hell." Her words were an exhale of breath Raising her voice, she called out to the rest of the family, "Get out. It's spreading. And call 911!"
Missing a period after 'breath'.
A sheriff's car was pulling into the driveway. Colin Rafferty, the sheriff, stepped out, his tan sheriff's uniform neat and pressed.
You use 'sheriff' three times in this sentence.
| AllyrienDM 1/23/13 . chapter 10
"This is why I ignore ghosts. Give 'em an inch and before you know it, you're picking up their laundry."
Love it. Sorry to chime in so late! Still here!
| Luckycool9 1/18/13 . chapter 10
I love how well that conversation went with Akira. It was quite good and brought so much more to Rose. Cool, we have an angel in this story. I want to know the little girl's name, I guess the little girl has the gift of healing or life. Can't wait for more!
| AllyrienDM 1/13/13 . chapter 9
Hahaha! Rose is NOT a fan of that question, if I recall. Loved the whole scene with Akira. And also "Ladies don't run."
| Luckycool9 1/12/13 . chapter 9
Interesting question for Rose. I wonder what the answer is. . wait was Zane sleeping without any clothes on? I love this chapter's threat. . can't wait for more!
| MikeKent 1/12/13 . chapter 9
"Are you an angel?"
Best four-word question ever. Now I can't wait for her answer. I'm not sure she even knows.
I love the crossed connection between Akira and Rose. "It's just one night." Love it.
Oh, and Rose's reaction to learning that Zane sleeps in the buff. Priceless.
| MikeKent 1/8/13 . chapter 8
Nat sees it as Colin dumping her, but I bet Colin sees it as him saving her from the pain of losing him had they continued their relationship.
What a wonder setup of the romantic conflict.
And we have a little girl, abused and on the run, who's a healer (and obviously, she knows she is). I'll bet she's on the run from someone who wants to exploit her talent. Tassamara is a perfect refuge for her.
| MikeKent 1/8/13 . chapter 4
I had a little problem with this:
Sweat on the back of his neck was rapidly cooling and he didn't feel well, sort of fuzzy and shaky, but the stabbing misery was gone, leaving the dull grinding pain of his previous indigestion.
You're writing in a very relaxed, informal style (which I love, had to sneak a parenthetical in here), so I first read the word 'well' in that light, as though you had put a comma in front of it, turning 'well' from a synonym of 'healthy' into a sort of a pause. That had the effect of reversing the truth-sense of the sentence, which didn't make sense as I read further. I actually had to stop and re-read the sentence to figure our your meaning.
So you might consider replacing the word 'well' with 'right' in this case.
This is missing an 'is':
The sheriff rubbed a hand over his chin. "Yeah, this not good timing," he muttered.
I absolutely loved this description:
Rose dimpled at him.
| AllyrienDM 1/8/13 . chapter 8
"What's our baby's name?" That's an adorable...catch phrase? Couple's in-joke? Well, either way. You write emotional damage so very well :)
| Luckycool9 1/7/13 . chapter 8
The passion was so intense that I loved it and then Nat killed it. It seems that he choose to live his life to the fullest, their romance will be an intresting one to see. Can't wait for more!Happy 2013!
| G T Fretwell 12/18/12 . chapter 7
Going to find Akira? About time, it'll be so much easier with a translator! Please update soon! Gen x
| G T Fretwell 12/18/12 . chapter 6
I really like this chapter - I'm a bit confused by Rose's new found powers but they're handy! Still dying to know who the girl is and why she doesn't want to be found! Gen x
| Luckycool9 12/11/12 . chapter 7
I loved these last four chapter. The writing was superb and I like the plot . . i hope we see Akira soon. I miss her.
| AllyrienDM 12/11/12 . chapter 7
Yay! Akira to the rescue! Haha :) Delighted as always to see an update.