Okay, WTF? So Ali had two choices: give Dexter to the psycho for a nice chunk of cash which would predictably result in Dexter being so damaged he couldn't work anymore, thus reducing a large source of her income; OR give Dexter to Kyler for an even bigger chunk of cash which MAY have resulted in them having a happily ever after and leaving her in the cold without her cash cow. It looks as if it was damned if you do, damned if you don't, and she picked the option that would ensure Dexter would be destroyed mentally and physically. Does she hate him or something? And is she mentally deficient, because she would have gotten a bigger payout if she had picked Kyler instead.

So, I'm taking a break from frantically writing to review this. First of all, I'm so happy Trevor is going to be alright! And I hate Ali so much, wow, what a bitch. I'm really hoping Kyler isn't too hard on Dexter about he pills, he didn't even take them! He's only angry because he cares so hopefully he'll realize that and there will be fluff and happiness and stuff.

Question: Um. Well, that's not good. I think Kyler may forgive him, since he didn't just stumble upon the meds or anything, but it's going to take a while.

So, while reading this I was trying to figure out the point of this chapter, you know what it means, and it seems to be mostly about Kyler and who he is...but. I don't know. It feels more like you decided to tell us things than show us things, and at one point it works in this.

This paragraph, however:
"In the past few hours, I have easily characterized Kyler. He lets himself hurt if it means taking care of the people he loves. He sacrifices his own happiness, willingly holds his heart out to be broken, because he thinks that is what I need. He pretends like I never said I couldn't love someone because he cares enough to be the person I need, even if it is only for a short amount of time. Kyler is the type of person who wants to feel needed because he forgot what desire was long ago."

Bothers me. I feel like you shouldn't have had to tell us this. When he's listing off facts about Kyler later when he's talking to Ali, it seems more like Dex's thoughts, but this. This seems like a character sketch a writer would do. Does the difference make sense?

Still hate Ali, btw.

I thought this chapter was really good. The dance was very intense. As soon as Ali said that we lost four this year, and included Trevor, it made me wonder - well done. I just have a couple of ideas/suggestions:

You skipped ahead four days this chapter. I think that is the first time you've jumped ahead that far. That is why the familiarity seems striking. I was fine as long as I reminded myself about the four days, but you could include a sentence or two with Dexter reflecting on that time to help bridge across it.

Kyler seems to have lost most of his arrogance from early on. I'm not sure that is realistic.

The club was described well until Ali got up. It sounded like she was the only female in the place. Maybe that is how she likes it - if you wanted that to stand out, it did.

As far as what's going to happen, after New Years, I would expect Kyler to have to go to work full time, which should lead to some problem time for Dexter.

Oh shit... This is some heavy reading, but I'm totally in for it. I'm simply craving for more...

so, if you truely listen to suggestions...you should most definately NOT KILL TREVOR! This story is sad enough without death to add to it. honestly, i hate death. espeacially little innocents like trevor :( the rest of this chapter was great though :D keep up the briliance...and remember not to kill trevor -_-

I'm a bit confused about Dexter's seemingly nonchalance in regard to Ali selling him out to a rapist for her own gain. Why did he go to this party? Shouldn't he cut ties with her (or at least cuss her out) instead of celebrating with her? If it were me, I'd be so furious I'd probably set one of her clubs on fire as payback or beat the sh*t out of her.

OH MY GOD I REALLY HOPE HE ISN'T DEAD. That would be so upsetting, I'm genuinely nervous. Besides that though, I loved this chapter and their banter, and the grinding, and the heart shaped hickey. I just want Dexter and Kyler to sleep together. U g h. I really want him to give in soon, because it'll be okay! He needs to just let Kyler take care of him in every way possible.

What's going to happen? I don't know! I don't knowwww, I just know that verything is getting all drama-y and that waiting sucks.

Um, let's see. The dancing thing: Yeah, I liked it. Being terrifed of sex doesn't necessarily make you not horny, I guess? Wouldn't know.

Let's see what my prediction is. It will probably also count as a suggestion, so there's that. I think that Kyler is going to take Dex the heck out of there and then he's going to visit Trevor in the hospital, where he will be dying, not dead. But will die soon, leaving ex distraught and setting him and Kyler back for a while.

Which will suck, but, well. *Shrugs*

In the beginning of this chapter, I got the feeling that Dexter felt a bit better. Not much, but there was something. Okay, he flinched when Kyler grabbed his wrist, but otherwize.
But then at the club, he really went down again. It's so heartbreaking, I think he lost those 30 minutes because he had a good time, because he felt happy and safe, and then when he realized he didn't remember... poor Dexter. Life will not make him forget. Everything will remind him.
I love that we get small glimpses from the rape. Okay, that sounded a bit wrong. But the small details we get makes at least me understand more what Dexter is going through. It is a part of who he has become.
Ah, and don't kill Trevor! Not yet, when Dexter needs him. Or maybe his death will bring him closer to Kyler? Anyway, I don't want him dead just yet so please? Update soon!

I like the dialogue you write - the speeches, the exchanges - they sound lovely in my head when I read them. And your characters are shaping up nicely as the story progresses, forming into quite complex individuals.

My one issue would be that when the story started I didn't expect Kyler's feelings for Dexter to unravel so quickly. And when it suddenly seemed that Kyler's behaviour was beyond that of an escort/client transaction, and that Dexter was unfazed by the oddness of it, well, it sort of took the mystery out of the romance for me. I guess I was hoping for Dexter to be unawares for a little longer.

Love!

I love this story :)

So excited for more!

Hey,

I really like this chapter. It seems a bit weird that Kyler fell in love so fast then, but hey, I guess those kind of things can happen... And Dexter's behaviour seems very natural. He is confused and terrified and you are projecting it well. The small steps, the hesitation, the fear, the need are all mixed up together.

Well done, I am looking forward to reading more!

I liked Kyler's speech very much. I think he is a really sensible character and I like that. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and the reappearance of the driver. :)