|Reviews for Call Boy|
| Sayure 8/13/12 . chapter 5
This is the best chapter I ever read. I can't believe how things became. If only Dex can be a little more stable. Oh and I love Trevor, I never met anyone positive in my life and it's make me feel really, really bad for him.
Thank you for the chapter and sorry for the late comment I was busy and couldn't use internet where I was.
| Aletiah 8/13/12 . chapter 4
You know, I kind of wondered why they lived in a so poor apartment if they were four guys sharing it and all was working, because it seemed like Dexter earned a lot of money, but now I got the explanation, they pay for Trevor's medicin! I think that shows a lot about Dexter's personality too, he does what he need to help a friend and not only for his own survival.
I don't think Kyler is so arrogant like he tries to show himself to be. And now we know what happened to his sister too, and by the way, I think she will be good for Dexter. Now he have someone to talk to, who knows what he's getting through.
But their dad! Omg, how can you sell your own children?
This story is really, really good!
| chao-lane 8/13/12 . chapter 5
The plot is thickening! tadada!
I like mysterious not as cold as he looks like man such as Kyler. And I also like how all the characters have a certain depth and aren't here just as extras.
Keep writing, you're already on my story alert
| Aletiah 8/13/12 . chapter 3
I like that we get Kyler's point of view too. I think the interlude is a great idea.
It seems that Dexter is worse than anyone thinks he is :/
| Aletiah 8/13/12 . chapter 2
I love the angst in this. Poor Dexter. I hope Kyler will be able to help him get over what happened to him in the past. It seems to be horrible, the little we know so far.
| Aletiah 8/13/12 . chapter 1
I like this so far! I hope we will get to know more about Dexter's past and what happened to him.
| misguided mania 8/13/12 . chapter 5
Another great chap. I don't like how Dexter had to ask to make a call though. It made Dex seem unnecessarily submissive & Kyler seem ultracontrolling, he should be able to use his phone whenever he likes. Especially as they weren't at the event any more.
And I still really wanna know why? Why does Kyler want Dex so much? Was he some boyhood crush of his? I really wanna know lol
Also the dirty club seemed a bit out of place. I wouldnt take someone I liked to a dirty club haha but that said Kylers not me.
Great job :)
| Starlette420 8/13/12 . chapter 5
wow. im in love with this. its sad i only get the chance to read at..what...3?...in the morning. i cant form a decent responce to a brilliant chapter. but thats exactly what it was! a brilliant chapter
| Mcgde 8/12/12 . chapter 5
I am slightly confused, does this mean tha Kyler is planning on actually dating him? My brain hurts a little.
| Rogue Energizer Bunny 8/12/12 . chapter 5
Hooray, there's more!
Reviewing as I read, like a bosswomun.
[It's navy and blue stripes, a play on the solid navy Kyler's got on. I think the complementing suits are supposed to tip the press off like, Hey, we're coordinating and he's fucking me! but I'm not sure.] Okay, love this part. LOLOL. First of all, I love the image of him adjusting his tie in the mirror. For some reason. I just really love a man in a suit, okay? And a man putting on a suit? D'AW. Excuse me for being weird. It's hilarious, too, that they're matching, because that is so transparent. I mean, most people who are dating don't worry about coordination. XD
[Kyler sighs. It's an irritated sound that makes me want to light up an entire pack right in front of him.] Good characterization. Kyler seems like a sort of controlling person, and Dexter doesn't seem like he'd go for that. It fits in with Dexter's anxiety, too, that he's want to smoke before he got going.
I really love the way they're bickering beforehand on what to do. Dexter just wants to do his own thing, and Kyler wants to go over it all, and Dex is just gonna wing it anyway. Bwahaha.
[He's the lighthouse to my dinghy, the only solid support I have in a sea of unfamiliar faces and ostentatious waiters.] I feel like the metaphor's off. Well, first of all, I'm imagining Kyler in an awky lighthouse costume, and all the waiters in gills. I'm typically against comparing people to inanimate objects, because it's distracting. Also, I don't know I like the image of dependency. Dexter was kinda grumping at him in the last bit for being so controlling, so why does he feel clingy now?
LOVE THE FLASHBACK DURING PANIC ATTACK. Very nice. Poor guy, getting beat with a belt and all. But would Kyler be more annoyed about having his partyin interrupted? He seemed a little peeved when he flipped out in the car. Maybe he's getting more used to it, but IDK.
["I realize it's not anything like Fly or Escape, but could you stop judging the bar?"] Haha. I like how Kyler notices him creeping on the bar.
[Kyler stares at the wooden bar; his fingertips play along the rim of his glass. "My mom," he says finally, "she overdosed on sleeping pills when I was fifteen. I'm just a little fucked up from it."] I like this explanation better. I feel like you coulda hinted about this more in the last chapter? His explanation was confusing, but I think you coulda implied he wasn't sharing everything a little better.
[It's impossible to conjure up the images] Missing period in last sentence.
I'm all caught up, and looking forward to more!
| S.H. Marr 8/12/12 . chapter 5
Aha. I knew Kyler liked Dex for more than just an escort. I believe I mentioned this last time. Now I simply have to figure out why, and how he learned about Dex.
I find the flashbacking a tad weird. Maybe it's me, and maybe it's that I've never been through anything traumatic like Dex has (at least, not first hand. I am dealing with some pretty bad stuff right now, but), but I've never actually had a flashback. I always thought it was only a technique used in fiction and it therefore annoys me. Is it because of his trauma?
Anyway, at least Dex isn't stupid enough not to figure Kyler out. I hate when they're dense, and I don't care how hypocritical that may make me. I'm allowed to be a hypocrite sometimes, right?
| Rogue Energizer Bunny 8/12/12 . chapter 4
I feel like I owe you a ton of reviews. Is this true? This is all I have that I haven't reviewed yet, yes? Other than your WCC entry, and I'll leave that for if you win and I have to review you. Unless you'd like me to review both, and give you a turn in depth if you win. Hm. Your choice. (OWAIT YOU JUST POSTED A NEW CHAPTER! You read my mind! How convenient.)
I'm trying to be more solid on review returns, see. XD wellll since you reviewed my WCC in depth, I should probs return the favor.
[Opening]: I love the opening paragraph. It does such a great job of drawing the readers in. With lot of intros to chapters, the reader will forget what happened last. Here, it's obvious that he fell asleep, and is just now waking up, and so there's no WAIT, WUT? moment. It's very realistic, too, because when people wake up, they notice what's happening inside their body first, and their surroundings later.
[Scene]: I don't quite get the part where Kyler's concerned about the HIV. I've reread that part a couple times, and I still think him getting angry over the pills is a bit off. It'd make more sense if you just stuck with "I don't want my escort high on drugs" instead of adding in the HIV part. Otherwise, it's a bit complicated. I could totally see him going all fascist dictator YOU WORK FOR ME, YOU TAKE MY MONEY, YOU STAY CLEAN, OR I KEEL YOU and such.
[Characters]: I like what Grace does for the plot, but I don't feel her much as an individual character. She seems almost masculine to me, with how emotionless she is about the rape. I'd expect her to be more upset with it. I love how she gives him the Prozac, but I don't quite understand why she does it? The other characters are great, but she seems a bit mechanical. Maybe you aren't used to writing girls? XD I have that problem sometimes.
[Enjoyment] IDK if I've mentioned this, but I LOVE this story. I totally empathize with Dex and his rape issues, and I wanted to stand up and cheer when he poured the pills in the toilet. Hooray! The plotline's solid, and the conflict's really easy to get into. I actually stalker-read this chapter a while ago and was too lazy to review. Forgive me...
| pseudonymsurname 8/11/12 . chapter 4
Sorry it took me a wee while to get to chapter four… Anyways, yeah, another good chapter overall. Only real problem I had with it is that it moved very fast. I think a bit too much happens in this one and the character development felt slightly too quick as a result. My examples of this would be Kyler kissing Dexter again (there was no real build-up of chemistry beforehand) and Grace talking about her and Kyler’s background within seconds of meeting Dexter.
Alrighty – AN questions. The tone is slightly different – more serious/dark – but that makes sense seeing as the key plot aspects are drug addiction and rape. There’s also a bit of a power struggle going on. Right now, Kyler definitely seems to have all the power over Dexter in the same way his addiction does. In fact, the only power Dexter seems to have comes from Grace so he comes across as pretty pathetic, but that makes sense for an addict.
As for Grace, she’s another interesting character, if a bit hard to read. Around Kyler, she seems a bit closed-off – ‘tight smile’ and all that. Yet with a stranger she’s very open and forthcoming (I’d say perhaps a little unrealistically so) and her smiles are ‘beatific’. Things like “Red is the color of passion. The only thing Kyler is passionate about is work” seem a bit weird for a sister to say, especially to a stranger. And then she says that Kyler saved her life… Yeah, I’m sensing there’s definitely something more to that family... which is saying something seeing as it already seems totally messed-up.
Reviewing as I read:
“An uncertain winter sun flickers in upon the room and filters through the spotless window” Surely the chain of events in this sentence should be inverted – ie ‘An uncertain winter sun filters through… and flicker in upon [or maybe ‘into’] the room’?
“A few people slipping in an out” typo: and
“It's a pristine room, really,” I’d ditch ‘really’ – the description implies it definitely IS a pristine room.
“I fumble around and come up with a pair of boxers that look suspiciously new” Haha, I’d cut ‘suspiciously’ or change it. It’s a word which would fit if you were saying ‘suspiciously old’ but next to ‘new boxers’ it sounds odd.
“. . .” Not sure if FP has done this, but you don’t need spaces in an ellipsis.
“why waste money on our living quarters when we spend so much time at someone else's” Kinda contradicts: “He stayed there full-time, and after my incident, I didn't leave the apartment.”
“I clear my throat and the woman starts” Why ‘the woman’ and not ‘she’?
Overall, yeah, still liking this. Interesting to see what happens in chapter five.
| misguided mania 8/9/12 . chapter 4
I love Kylers cocky, in control persona and the way that his actions, although the rights and wrongs of him taking away Dexters pills is debateable, show that he cares.
I was a little uncomfortable with the kiss though, it just felt too sudden. And too soon for Kyler to be showing that kind of desire, there hasn't been much build up to it. If it wasn't genuine desire and just heat of the moment... that still feels inconsistent with the self control he usually displays... He also doesn't seem like the kind of guy to just cruelly & inconsiderately mess around with Dexter when he's shown how aware he is of Dexters fragile state. So overall didn't quite get the kiss even though it did add excitement to the chap.
Also Kylers dad prostituting him and his sister to his clients just seemed a little far fetched... like what kind of sick crazy dad would do that?! And weren't they old enough to say no?! Maybe I misunderstood that part :/ it just seemed strange.
Overall, still loving the story, can't wait to read more :D
| misguided mania 8/9/12 . chapter 3
I think the interlude idea is great :) you should keep it. It gives us some insight into Kylers mind without overdoing it & destroying his mystery. Let's us see Dex from another perspective too. Really interested to see if Ali will have a bigger role and if there's more to the Dexter Kyler contract thing. Like, why would Kyler wait for two years instead of just getting another escort? Im convinced there's more to this hehe