This story deserves SO much more reviews than what it has now! This story is amazing so far, capturing the reader's attention and making sure to keep it through every single word. I really like Hailey already, and I'm interested to see what her father does in response to Holt's choice! I'm sure it'll be fun chapter to read lawl ;)
Unfortunately, I do not have an account on here yet, actually this is the first I've heard of this site. Maybe I will make one. But until then, you gotta promise me that you'll tell me whenever you update again, alright? :D
LOVE the story so far, and SO excited to read more

Add one more word and top that word count to 1k XD

so far, so good. Your story is fine, so good job. I couldn't find any mistakes

Update soon :D

Hello Fellow Writer,

Very interesting stuff here, interesting indeed.

This bit of text had a lot of thought in it, thought and overview. Seeing as it is supposed to be a general overview of the entire story you've crafted, I think it performs its job wonderfully. Had it been, instead, Chapter 1, I would have to say that it could use more description. I'm a writer/reader who likes scenes, moments that can be lived in. With this, I was creating a lot of the imagery of the world and the characters on my own - but that was not a bad thing - it pulled me in...

I've got just the tip of the iceberg here, and I already have my notions about the characters; that says something about your writing ability, given that there really wasn't much text to go on in this piece.

I'm guessing this 'Hailey' would be one of the main characters in the story? Interesting... It's obvious she's 'special,' I'm just curious as to the approach you will have with her. Will she be 'invincible' and 'the chosen one,' meaning that she's almost perfect? I hope not. She's got a lot of potential to drive the story, but making everyone have their faults gives characters color and helps create plot motion as well. I would also hope the future story wouldn't focus completely on Hailey, because this 'Holt' sounds pretty interesting too, as does the Queen, and, well, everyone!

In short, good job. I didn't notice any big or that many spelling/grammar errors, and the pacing was right, focused.

Keep on writing!

Sincerely,

- Epic Awaken