Very impressive, with a flowing rhythm that adds to the
creepy content. This would be a good ghost story to
tell around a campfire or at a party where people are
trying to scare each other.

I like your rhyme scheme. "These creatures walk in
their despair/No longer left to life's clear air."
That's my favorite.

First off thanks for your review awhile back. I'm sorry it took me so long to return the review.

"Underneath the gravesites grown"... the tense grown seemed awkward. Almost maybe forced for the rhyme?

Also, not a fan of the punctuation because those would end up being more than two sentences.

I did like the word choices though. It created a really different sort of tome that I think fit well with the piece.

PS Check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile)