|Reviews for The Summoned Beings: Submit your OC! Open!|
| Shayna-18 7/28/12 . chapter 2
Puuuurfect! Lol, notice the kitty purrr? I loved reading about Sora, but im a cat person and aparently she isn't...
I adore the interactions between Rein and Ven! I can tell i am gonna love the interactions between Rein and Salem already!
You are a tease but it makes this story a lot more awesome and intriging how you have the characters come in!
You did an amazing job on both Sora and Salem; you got Salem better than i thought (You got what i was sayin, normally i have a hard time explaining things)
I loooved this chapter a lot!
I think i found one mistake:
"Sorry..." She muttered apologetically to REIN before she quickly followed after her with Gaius, now in his kid form, at her side
Was it supose to say Sora?
Also how did Rein know Salem had silver hair? Did she catch a glimse of him before when they got back with Sora?
| Shayna-18 7/20/12 . chapter 1
Ooooh! Man this is amazing! I can't wait to read some good hopefully bloody action scenes! :)
I wanna send in a character!
| CruelDistractions 7/8/12 . chapter 1
I love the story so far! And I'm so sorry I can't send this as a PM because I just made an account here to see how different it is from Fanfiction, so it says I have to wait two days before sending PM's. So sorryD: But! Here is my OC submission, I hope you likey. :D
NAME: Rinese Seraph Cami
PERSONALITY: Nes is a really happy-go-lucky character. She is really bubbly and is always up in your business. She seems to never run out of energy. She is really clingy though but she means no harm. She is friendly...sometimes a little too friendly. She likes to help people out and she's really honest and blunt. She's a little dramatic when it comes to inappropriate things such as cussing. She doesn't like cussing very much.
APPEARANCE AND CLOTHES:
Nes has short light brown angled hair. The front of her hair is longer than the back. She has across the forehead bangs that aren't even. She has a fair skin tone with a birthmark under her left eye. She's around 5' 4" and she's fairly thin. She has big light brown eyes.
Her base clothes is an over-sized white hoodie with a kitty face on it. She wears black skinny jeans and white shoes.
In the summer she wears a sleeve-less thinner hoodie with black cargo pants.
In the winter she will wear her base clothes except maybe with a scarf or earmuffs.
To sleep she will wear white and black plaid pajama pants with a loose shirt.
To the beach or when she goes swimming she will wear a black and white two-piece. White top with black bottoms.
HISTORY: Nes is pretty much an average girl. She grew up with her mother's loving care and delicious cooking. (That Nes loves likes crazy. ;D) Her father is at work most of the time but he does come home to visit his wife and children. He works in different countries and likes to bring his family back souvenirs. Nes as a young child was always protected by her brother. When bullies came around to harm her, her brother was always there. Her brother likes to tease her from time to time but is really kind as well. They both know it's hard for their mother to take care of them while their dad is hard at work earning money since their mother only works a part-time job. She pretty much has had an average life and nothing really big or eventful has happened in her life. She's still never had her first kiss or boyfriend and she's quite content with that.
WEAPON: A giant mallet? :D
LIKES: Food, and lots of it. Her mother's cooking. She likes bakery bread, and sweets. She loves animals and friends. She likes games but not hardcore games. She likes fruits and fruit juice.
DISLIKES: She doesn't like mean and rude people. She doesn't like fruit snacks, calling them imposters. She despises dark rainy days. She isn't fond of gum and runs at the sight of them.
WEAKNESSES: The dark and gum. (She choked on some when she was little because she thought it was candy)
STRENGTHS: She can't be brought down easily. (Like she doesn't loose her up-beat personality easily)
FATAL FLAWS: She trusts too easily. She also assumes things too quickly.
Eli Cami, Mother. She works part-time at a close by bakery. She is 40.
Xavier Cami, Father. He works in far away countries. He is 43.
SIBLINGS: Drayne (Dray) Cami, Brother. Currently 18 and still in school.
ROMANCE: She's a bit too immature at the moment for any relationship. But, if you like as the story progresses you can pair her up with someone. Umm, the type of guy would be someone very caring and down to earth. She really likes cute things so a cute guy would definitely catch her attention.
Instead of the brown tipped tail, it's more of a blood red.
NAME OF SUMMON: Uroak (You-roke)
GENDER OF SUMMON: Male
ELEMENT OF SUMMON: Fire, if that is taken already then can it be wind. (If wind then I would like the tip of the tails to be a dark grey please.)
POWERS/ABILITY OF SUMMON:
If fire: The tail of the fox will ignite with fire and shoot flames at the enemy. It can shoot fire from it's mouth in a form of a ball.
Paws can ignite with when attempting to swipe it's claws at an opponent.
If wind: It's tail spins rapidly to create a mini tornado.
Uroak opens its jaws as if to roar and a giant ring of condensed wind shoots out.
Uroak can use the wind to become faster when running.
HOW YOUR SUMMON CAME TO YOUR CHARACTER: When walking to school, it came out from one of the streets and jumped her. (In a friendly greeting)
SYMBOL OF YOUR SUMMON AND WHERE ON YOUR CHARACTER'S BODY: A circle fox. Like the body of the fox is curved as if the fox was chasing it's tail. The tail and head would almost meet at the top and the bottom is the curve of the fox's body. Like this:
. but a fox.
The tattoo is on the back of Nes's neck.
SUMMON'S CHIBI FORM/HUMAN FORM: Chibi form is a mini fox. Much the size of a stuffed toy.
SUMMON'S PERSONALITY: Very sly and tricky. Likes to make fun of others but he's protective of Nes.
Misc: Nes carries around chocolate.
Something you want to happen to your character: I don't really have any requests.
Do you want your character to die?: I really hope no, but if you really need her to die then I shall start digging her grave. xD
REACTIONS TO MY OC'S: She won't like Rein very much since Rein cusses but she'll definitely try to befriend Ven. Uroak will probably just criticize their summons with small comments, but he won't try to anger them completely. He'll just like to annoy them.
| SkyVic 7/8/12 . chapter 1
This is a well thought out storyline here and I'm happy I decided to check it out. There was never a part where I skimmed through; the whole chapter kept me on edge and eager to find out what's going to happen next. Especially when Rein dragged out "Leroy Jenkins!" in a shouted XD That's the best line to shout when you're going into something (especially if you happen to be playing an online game and shout that in everyones ears...)!
All in all, this was a great read and you described everything well enough that it wasn't overdue or too little. Although there are very few grammer error's, like three, but that's nothing to worry about. The story itself pulls away them and makes it feel like you're with the character, in which are also well thought out :)
So, I'll do my best to fill out your form. Until then, expect a PM later on today! ;)
| JustMeMaddiB 7/7/12 . chapter 1
I would have PMed you this OC application, but unfortunately I'm new to Fictionpress and still have to wait 24 hours to be able to use the messaging system. However, I do know how all this works, I've been on Fanfiction for years. So don't worry, I'm not a complete noob ;P
By the way, I thought the first chapter was incredibly well written, and within my first five minutes playing around with the site, your story caught my eye first. I was thrilled to find out you were accepting OCs, and wanted to submit mine right away before you had already recieved enough. So since inboxing you this application is out of the question, reviewing it is.
NAME: Sora Kimura
PERSONALITY: First of all, Sora has a very childish and carefree attitude, and tends to joke about everything, even serious matters. She is sweet and kindhearted, but not at all shy, on the contrary she tends to be loud and outspoken and sometimes a little irritating, even without meaning to. She can be nosy at times, but that is only because she wants the best for everyone. She very badly wants people to like her, but sometimes too much because this can also cause her to be irritating without intending to be. However, underneath all that happy-go-lucky, free-spirited attitude, she is hiding hurt and betrayal from those who used to mean the most to her, which is the main reason she strives so hard to be liked by everyone. She feels like it is her fault she was abandoned by the people she cared about, because she failed to make them happy. As a result to that, she is sensitive to people's needs and feelings, and feels very guilty whenever she does something wrong. She puts others happiness before her own.
APPEARANCE AND CLOTHES: She has dark blue hair, not navy blue, but a sort of bright dark blue (like the color of the internet explorer bar - sorry, i used the first example I saw, hahaha), and her hair reachers her shoulders. Her bangs fall in front of her eyes, but she parts them so she can see. She also has bright blue eyes, almost to match her hair color. Medium skin and rosy cheeks, not to mention a bright smile. She is 5'4, weighs 103 pounds, and has a cup size of B. She wears bright colors all year-round, to match her bright personality. In the summer she wears a lot of skirts and frilly tanktops, her tops are usually pink or yellow, and her skirts are usually denim. In the winter she wears a lot of blue, and has one particular light blue coat with a furry hood. She wears black boots, and denim jeans, and also wears a lot of sweatshirts, which are also usually bright colored. To sleep, she wears duckie pajamas.
HISTORY: (I know you said you didn't want every OC to have a dramatic past, but my character seems so shallow without it D: so as I continue on, I apologize.) Sora never got much attention as a child, even from the start. She was the fourth born out of seven children, all from the same birth parents. Everyone knows the middle children get the least attention. And Sora was smack-dab in the middle. With such a large family, they weren't exactly living well, but they had everything they needed, and they were better off than some others. As Sora grew up she continued to be ignored and neglected, not to mention abused by her older siblings. However, she was still determined to make her family happy. Sometimes, her need for other peoples approval, clouded her judgement, and this caused her to take actions that backfired on her in the end. Her family, at their limit on space in the house and tolerance of her misjudgement, ended up kicking her out. It wasn't an easy thing to do, but after all, what use did they have for her in the first place, if anyone hardly even noticed she was there? Life after this was hard for Sora at first, but soon she got a job, then got herself an apartment, were she currently lives by herself. She is lonely, and doesn't have very many close friends from school.
WEAPON: Hmmm...I would say sword, but it just seems so cliche. How about a lightning sword? A sword made of a real lightning bolt. And the blue color of the lightning matches the color of her hair. Kinda special, if it's too special you can just change it to a regular sword, it's all the same to me :P
LIKES: Bright colors, sugary food, when people smile, and love (she's a hopeless romantic).
DISLIKES: Mean, rude, or pervy people. When people cry. Oh, and cats. She really doesn't like cats.
WEAKNESSES: Other's emotions, which she tends to put before her own. Other people in general, I guess. Like, if someone was theatening to kill her friend, she would demand to be killed instead.
STRENGTHS: She hates evil, or dangerous people/creatures, or people who cause harm to those she loves. It causes her to go bonkers.
FATAL FLAWS: Empathy for other people
FAMILY: The Kimura family lives in a small house in the middle-class part of town.
SIBLINGS: Six siblings, starting from oldest to youngest: Katsumi (f), Yuki (m), Hana (f), Crimson (m), Zoe (f), and Rin (f).
ROMANCE: Yes, and Sora might be interested in a boy who is cute and gentlemanly, who puts her first and shows her that she needs to start thinking of herself instead of everyone else all the time. If no such boy arises, she can be paired with anyone you feel the need to pair her with :P
SUMMON: . /_ I don't know if the link will work in a review, if not then notify me and I'll send you the link via PM as soon as my messages start working.
NAME OF SUMMON: Zurovehmin, Zuro for short (his name kind of rhymes with Sora's, lolol)
GENDER OF SUMMON: Male.
ELEMENT OF SUMMON: Lightning! is it okay for the summon to have the same element as the weapon of their Miarenel? If not, then fire's fine
POWERS/ABILITY OF SUMMON: When in large form, electrical charge appears around him, and for his attacks, he shoots large lightning bolts out of his mouth and tail. also shocks anyone who comes near.
HOW YOUR SUMMON CAME TO YOUR CHARACTER: He was first a stray cat that was hanging around Sora's apartment, which is his chibi form, cat. She is instantly disgusted by him, as all cats, and wants him gone. When she picked him up in order to dispose of him elsewhere, he shocked her, and during this he told her his name. She convinces herself that she's imagining things and thinks she's going crazy, and leaves him outside and goes on with her life. Then one day this robber/rapist/whatever bad guy you want him to be finds his way into Sora's apartment, whether it be breaking in, or pretending to be a mailmain or cable guy or whatever. Nonetheless he is in her apartment, then turns out to be a senboku and attacks her. But taaa-daaa, Zuro shows up in his real form and, bada bing, bada boom, saves the day, kills the senboku, yeah. It doesn't have to go exactly this way, you can change it in whatever way you want. I just came up with that off the top of my head :P
SYMBOL OF YOUR SUMMON AND WHERE ON YOUR CHARACTER'S BODY: Lightning bolt, on Sora's left hip. Hahah, no, not her forehead, this is not Harry potter :D
SUMMON'S CHIBI FORM/HUMAN FORM: A small, adorable looking black cat. Although Sora doesn't view him as very adorable at first. He is a tiny cat, almost like a kitten (believe it or not there is actually a stray cat that looks exactly like this that keeps hanging around my house o:) He has yellow eyes and large ears.
SUMMON'S PERSONALITY: Very sarcastic and does not appreciate being called cute, when he's pissed he gets sassy and straightforward. He can also be very comical and likeable, and Sora soon warms up to him despite her hatred of cats. Can communicate telepathically with anyone of his choosing while in cat from. However, in his true form, he can only communicate telepathically with Sora.
Misc: idk o:
Something you want to happen to your character: Kidnapped by some senboku maybe? Idk, whatever you want.(;
Do you want your character to die?: No, maybe, idk. We'll talk more about this later? o:
REACTIONS TO MY OC'S: i was kind of confused by this because you said my OC's reaction to your OC's, and then my Summon's reactions to your Summons, right? i hope because that's what I'm putting, lol.
Reinforce/Rein: Sora is a tad bit afraid of her, kind of sucks up to her in order to not end up on her bad side
Her Summon, Akusenmi: Sora's summon Zuro gets along well with Rein's summon Akusenmi, they have known each other for a long time (if you want them to, of course. the author's wish is my command. hah :P)
Veniza/Ven: Sora almost feels like she can look up to Ven, and feels she is easy to talk to.
Her Summon, Gaius: Zuro gets along well with Gaius...unless he calls him cute. (if thats okay with you, i wasn't sure if Gaius was the kind of kid - well, summon - to call something cute..aha :D)
It took me two hours to complete this whole thing and I sure hope it will let me submit the entire review.
Thanks so much for your time and if you consider me, if you have any questions feel free to ask away!
If you PM me on here I won't be able to reply until at least another 20 hours after I post this review (not sure what time zone you're in) BUT if you PM me on Fanfiction, however, I will be able to reply to you there, ASAP. My penname on FF is the same, JustMeMaddiB, it should be easy to find me.
I look forward to seeing your feedback!
PS, I'm sorry if some parts were foreverrrr long! I just get in the zone.(;