|Reviews for Peace of Mind|
| dark-fire-rebel 9/24/12 . chapter 1
I liked it a lot. The imagery you used definitely sets the correct tone that goes along with your title, creating that environment of 'peace'. Also, "And as they allow nothing,/to disrupt my contentment within;/the storm rages violently,/but the dark clouds don't get in," those lines were favorite, the rhyming gives those lines a very smooth flow. Overall, I loved it!
| Small Wings Flying 9/23/12 . chapter 1
I found one I haven't reviewed before. :) Now why was that so difficult?
[be still, have peace, be calm again.] - I love that line. It has awesome rhythm. And the pauses were perfect too.
For the most part, I like the rhythm of this entire piece - it works quite well. I do think though you've used hard and soft sounds a little ineffectively. "disrupt" and "contentment" in the same line don't work so well because the softness of "contentment" is a little too defined and too long. "joy" would have been better, the "j" is a tad softer than the "c" and the overall word/sound is smaller as well. "overshadow" I think is too soft, perhaps "overcast" since we've got other weather elements, that kind of thing. That's just my nitprick for the day.
Otherwise, clever title, metaphors and nice writing.
| Faithless Juliet 9/21/12 . chapter 1
I liked how you opened with the image of rushing water. Symbolically it’s very strong as a picture but I also really like the mood and emotion that it suggests. It makes me think of all other sounds drowned out, and currents and chaos.
I also liked the subtle rhyming aspects that you used in the poem, but I feel like the overall message of the poem is a bit vague. You utilize a lot of images and motifs but I find myself unclear of what the nature of the piece was about and what/if the resolution was at the end. You don’t need a “resolution” to make the poem work, but I feel like it ended abruptly, and even after re-reading I’m still unclear. I kind of feel like you present the reader with a very nice image in the beginning but then don’t follow through to the end.
| Eirien 7/13/12 . chapter 1
Oh, I thought I was logged in, the new FP is confusing... So, that last review was from me. ;-)
| Guest 7/13/12 . chapter 1
Beautiful imagery, the "living water" whispering peace. Gripping contrast between outer storms and inner quiet.
| Natari Mirumura 7/12/12 . chapter 1
Extremaly beautiful. Your poetry have unique pulls to them, that I just can't seem to stop finding fascinating. Splendid job, keep it up :D
| catching.my.breath 7/10/12 . chapter 1
Ooh, how I would love to write like this! Great job. x)
| tater22 7/9/12 . chapter 1
Oops I accidently put that last review as guest my bad
| Guest 7/9/12 . chapter 1
Wow. That was so descriptive and so well put together, you don't even have to review back. That was a treat to read, thank you