Well, this is really fantastic so far. I love the story, the way it's progressed has me right on the edge of my seat. I didn't even realise I'd read through twenty two chapters, I was so sucked into it! You have a readable, natural pace that is easy to follow and interesting to read, which is great.

The world building is brilliant, too. It's always a bit of hit and miss with fantasy, I find. Sometimes a writer tries too hard to create a world of magic and gets so engrossed in it that they sort of lose track of the story itself. Yours is wonderful, giving us as readers all the information we need to form an attachment and see the lay of the land and the places the characters visit clearly in our heads without bogging us down too much with heavy descriptions. You've created a war torn land that is so easy to imagine, while working it into the actual progression of the plot and still managing to keep things relatively mysterious. That takes a lot of skill, I think, and it reads very professionally.

The characters are wonderful, all so colourful and interesting in their own separate ways. Amber is a great lead, a normal young woman that has grown right along side with the story and adapted into what she needs. She's blossomed into someone strong, a perfect and relatable heroine! This really is so wonderfully written, I wouldn't question any of it if I were to pick it up in a book shop. Great work! Can't wait to read more!

This was a really good chapter! There were great moments of tension like when they were being followed, and this part "butterflies of terror", I like that descriptive phrase. Character interaction, is good as always. I really am enjoying this! Looking forward to more!

ah, Amber, you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar...

I suspected things wouldn't work out neatly with Caspar, but I wasn't expecting him to be on the run too. There might be more in the next chapter, but I thought Amber might have more reaction to how her brother treated the barmaid...

I honestly hope that Amber comes clean soon. Such secrets will destroy a party if left for too long in obscurity. I can't wait to see what happens next. Anyway, I think you've improved your style. It's no longer incredibly long winded or annoying to read. Paragraph breaks are decent, dialogue is vivid and realistic, and your action tags seem to be working wonderfully.

-Nox from the RH.

Hmm I'm surprised Amber didn't tell them right there after they talked about the scroll. Great chapter ). Oh and thanks for the reviews on my story P.

a good start to a fantasy story. you get the reader hooked in right from the get-go with the sudden magic. the characters are all dynamic and enjoyable.
i would suggest getting rid of the line breaks though. you don't often see them in professional books, and since they show a lapse forward in time, you're refusing the reader any info that has occurred between the break in time

I enjoyed this chapter very much! I loved the interaction of characers, especially between Kridko and Amber. This scene in particular

"And besides," said Kridko "You're clever enough with the sword that you don't need any sorcery to make your way in the world."

I blushed and continued staring at my shoes. I wasn't sure if flattery made me feel any better.

Very good scene. I liked it :)

Really great chapter! I look forward to the next one.

I'm sorry it's taken me about 4 weeks to return your review D: I got it just as classes started for the year...

I really liked the execution of this chapter; I think the way you wrote it fit the tone of the chapter really well. For example, the sentences in Amber's narration are short, sharp and to-the-point in the beginning when the Moritani invade, so I felt that was really effective in conveying the panicked atmosphere in that scene.

As for characters, Amber's character was really strong here; despite having been on the run for a while now and self-defence becoming a necessity, she still feels guilty about actively defending herself against the Moritani because it resulted in death. So it's nice to see that softer part of her character hasn't changed despite all she's been through. It's also really good to see that she doesn't hold obvious grudges against Niss and Nad, like Nad does for some time.

I really wonder what will become of Sali. She seems pretty capable and Amber has a lot of faith in her being able to survive, so it'll be interesting to see what happens. I'm also curious about where Amber is heading now; perhaps that sorcerer's refuge she mentioned? At any rate, I'm also still wondering what's become of Renarn and the group, and I'm still hoping for them to reunite and reconcile.

I miss Renarn...

Yeah...I still feels like there needs to be something more to get her here than just "she fell in the river"...but I can say what exactly.

Smartest thing for her to do would be to win Sali over as an ally...but I can forgive her not thinking of it since she's so rattled/tired.

Well...that was unexpected...

It felt a little random, but not completely unbelievable...

Well, just finished this story through. My thoughts at this moment are good. Understand that I don't usually marathon stories like this, so consider yourself special in that you're only the second person to have this honor. I love the world you've crafted so far, however I believe my last criticisms still hold water. Overall, I really enjoyed this narrative, and I believe I will continue to.

Good chapter. I'm not surprised to learn of people who have escaped the witch hunts of Moritani, but I'm glad to see they aren't unfair. It seems the treatment of magic wielders hasn't diminished their pride any either. I'm interested to see how this turns out. The old man seems like he's been alive for a lot longer than you let on.

Luck and skill are two sides of the same coin. Without luck a skilled swordsman may die from something other than battle on the field of war. If one has luck, but no skill, a sword fight to lose looms closer still. With the right balance, and proper planning, one may survive to tale the tale. It may even be inscribed upon the heavens, so bright, and so still.

In this case Amber lacks the skill, but possesses the luck of one destined for great things. The difference between writing skill and luck is like night and day. Skill could be planning to trip over a tree root to dodge an arrow, and luck is falling off a cliff into a still, clear lake and only narrowly miss being impaled upon the very same arrow that was shot at you.

I think if you keep the believable factor to a decent level, you could make a decent tale out of it.

Now, onto the cold water idea. Contrary to popular belief, it isn't the cold water that kills, it's hypothermia. Hypothermia is when the heat of your body is expended at once. The calories you burn can't keep up with the demand for heat. The wetness is what speeds up your demise as water conducts cold more efficiently.

What happens then is your body begins to shutdown. Without survival training, a person can very easily get flustered and go on and on with their wet clothes on. In hunter's education course, you're trained or told to strip off the wet clothes and start a fire immediately. If you can't, then stripping needs to be as immediate as possible. Of course you'll get cold waiting for the water to evaporate off your skin, but not as cold as you would be with tons evaporating from your clothes. It can take seconds to hours for hypothermia to set in. Depending on the temperature and conditions, you can die in minutes or hours.

Icy water begins hypothermia really quickly. But, temperature after exposure is the deciding factor. Anything below body temperature will cause hypothermia to set in, but when it is 60 degrees Fahrenheit outside is when you need to begin to worry. Wind speeds it up even more.

Why am I telling you all this? Because with the amount of time I've been led to believe she's been under exposure, I think I'm having a tough time understanding why she isn't dead yet. Especially in the cool of the cavern.