Hahaha! That was sooo cute! X3

What's OAHC?

-Amy Stardust

Aww! This is such a sweet and cute story! Can't wait for the next chapter:)

I think you did really well and that you are not giving yourself enough credit for it. I do think that when a character is thinking though you should put it in italics rather than quotations (don't feel obligated to though...)
Overall i really liked it, it was cute!
Update soon! :)
-Angie