I like the length of this chapter. It gives the story a little more depth and it lets you cover more ground. Anywho, onto the review!

[SPOILER ALERT]

Plot - Ah, an origin story. We're doing more world building I see. Excellent, seeing as you haven't done that in ages. I was actually going to make a comment on that, but hey, it's here. The fight scene was good, but I wonder why Akito flipped out and shot Seto though. Do Synchronizers have some kind of extreme fight or flight issue or something? O_o The ending... I wonder what Aura saw.

Characters:

Akito - His shooting Seto was interesting. I kind of wonder why he did that, seeing as he probably didn't need to shoot him to stop the attack. That was more of an attack to kill.

Sirius - Hmm... Yeah, you're up to something. But what? He's kind of like the news reporter in Code Geass. He just kind of wants to see the action unfold, but he's not entirely evil. He's got my attention.

Kagami - Seems to have plans for the twins too. Just what are these two after? They'll make for good characters this arc if you flesh them out.

Seto - O_O Holy crap he killed a Sabertooth with his bare hands! His fighting skills aren't bad either. He kind of reminds me of Adell from Disgaea, but seeing as you love to reference existing works, I wouldn't be surprised if that was intentional. Granted, this guy LIKES to beat things up and openly shows it.

Aura - We learned about her powers and how they work. FINALLY! Thank you, that left me curious last arc.

Silver - Explaining more things. I want to know more, and I'm sure she'll tell me more before this is over.

Overall, I enjoyed this chapter, but come out with the next one already! I expect something awesome!

Another character! Okay seriously, don't introduce anyone else. xD The cast has officially reached 10 protagonists if you have the intention of making Akito, Clow, Olivia, Alicia, Akira, Aura, Iris, Seto, Kagami, and Sirius all main characters for the duration of the series. Granted, it took you two arcs to get Seto, Kagami, and Sirius out, but then you still have the Guardians to account for. Yeah, unless this pulls a Nanoha StrikerS, try not to add anymore people. xD That aside, here's the review!

[SPOILER ALERT]

Plot - Okay, we can't do much with a school setting for an action/adventure/fantasy series, so this is probably more of the action cooldown zone. What I did like was seeing Akito and Alicia make friends in these past two chapters. It shows that they are progressively adapting while Olivia and Clow seem to be struggling. Good contrast. On the topic of Aura- you like to make me feel bad about asking questions don't you? What the hell was Aerith doing to her at that lab? Q_Q Why were she and Iris all bloody? I don't know, but it seriously interests me. (Just be careful though, she's becoming a more interesting character than the basic 4 main protagonists) I'm getting attached to this character- stick with this sub plot! On a side note, we now know how she met the guardians, so you've officially covered a potential plot bunny. Good job!

Characters:

Akito - Poor guy's getting bombs dropped everywhere today. Should be interesting to see what he does at the fight.

Akira - Thank you for telling us what everyone's problem with Seto is. So he's a street fighter for money? Nice. Now tell me why. :)

Kagami - Interesting character. Both her and Sirius are interesting really. What are they really after? Are they friend or foe? Just what's going on here? xD

Olivia - Funny interaction with Clow, but she had an understandable interaction with Alicia. It would be hard to tell your shy friend not to invite their first new friend in a new school in a new country.

Alicia - Making friends- good job! I want to see her grow a bit more, but it's interesting that she and Akito seem to be sensitive to sensing energy.

Clow - Doing his usual. Not much to say here.

Aura - Revealing her back story piece by piece, all while awesomely traversing a sewer dungeon. Should be interesting to see where you go with her. I wanna say that she's going to die by the time this is over, but now I don't want to see that happen! Q_Q

Silver - Giving us interesting info about the Synchronizers. Her bond with Aura makes much more sense now and is far more understandable than just teacher and student. They are friends. I like how her entrance mimics Saber from Fate/Stay Night though!

Overall, not bad. Still a pretty strong chapter given how powerful the introduction was, but it could have been a bit stronger. Nice work.

This is so much better as a whole chapter rather than being divided into acts. Anyway, onto the review!

[SPOILER ALERT]

I totally called it, we're gonna see poor Griselda forced into a maid outfit. This should be amusing. On that note, you seriously have to draw the characters out. I am actually curious to see what a few of these people look like.

Introduction - This was incredibly well done. Everyone's going to school as a group- the siblings from their home and the Velkan gang from the Ingvol residence. Interaction was pretty solid, and then Akito senses something strange- a strong foreboding for later events. Aura escaping surprised me, but what probably had me more shocked was that she seriously went and killed someone or a lot of people from what the description implied! O_O Aura's part of the introduction made it a powerful and incredibly epic. When she and Silver are getting ready to go and the title comes up, I can vision it perfectly as if it were a real anime.

Now, that aside, the chapter itself.

This is interesting. You're introducing more characters, which I like to a degree, but you already had a huge cast. I'm not sure of how you're going to handle this many people. Keep tabs and keep your character development balanced or things might get messy. Plot was interesting. It seems that Seto's dropping yet another bomb on Akito's life and throwing him into yet another strange situation. After that, we have the mysterious Sirius, who seems to actually know Akito's secret. I wonder how he knows? On another note- poor Aura. That sounds like it really hurts. o_q

Characters:

Akito - He's gotten lazy I see xD The beginning made it seem as if Arc I and II never happened. He's so, happy, which is great since his character development in Arc II would imply that he'd make an effort to live for the future and for his own happiness. He seems to be doing so. I think telling his true name was a bit unnecessary though.

Akira - Finally outgrown her little sister thing and is becoming a bit more demanding of her brother, which I like because she seemed a little too happy and willing to be around him at first. Now she's getting annoyed because he was making them late for school. On top of that, she's gone beyond the big brother's always right thing and she's showing signs of disagreeing with his decision to befriend Seto. They're turning into real siblings. Congratulations.

Olivia - Hmm... I wonder what she was going to say? Hehehe, Must have been something real dirty judging from how desperate Akito was to avoid the subject. I wanna hear what that secret is! It sounds juicy. ;)

Alicia - She was kind of quiet. I don't have much to say on her.

Clow - Hahaha as usual, I find him the most funny of the characters. His reactions to things are just, funny.

Griselda - I was hoping for a more mature thing, but I guess it makes sense that Griselda is a lazy mentor. Usually the student and the mentor have a common trait. In Griselda and Akito's case- it's being lazy.

Aura - We're seeing more of her, which was terribly needed. Her badass level jumped leaps and bounds, all while showcasing her destructive might and at the same time, revealing a weakness- it seems that she can't handle guns very well judging by that shotgun wound.

Silver - So you finally decided to help out? Okay, now the plot hole for her is covered. She seems to have wanted to hear out what Aerith had to say, but wasn't totally solid on doing it yet. Then when they imprisoned Aura, she immediately ran to the girl's side to help her out. Okay, she's accounted for. Let's see what the other three have to say about all of this.

Aerith - You're doing a good job of keeping me guessing. Who is really the big bad? Is it Alastor? Is it Genesis? Or is Aerith going to somehow usurp them both as the big bad? Hell, maybe it's Valdr himself with how he was talking at the end of Arc II. Either way, Aerith is a cunning villain and I have a feeling that Aura's walking into a huge trap.

Overall, good work.

LOL, the gaming references sure came out of nowhere! I had a good laugh at that part.

:o Reality Marble. I suppose Type-Moon works has influenced you.

Heh, it wouldn't be interesting if they just all meet at Aura's house. The part where the scythe was about to slice off their head was indeed thrilling. What's even better is Aura's flashy entrance and her abilities! Well-timed and placed :D

Hey, I am back! Sorry for disappearing for so long without telling you.

I think I did read through this chapter the last time, (just forgot to leave a review), so I pretty much glanced through it to refresh my memory.

Just pointing to you here. I have noticed that you tend to forget to include a comma in dialogues.

"By the way, have you seen a mirror lately Yuji?"

"You'll make an excellent general one day Clow,"

In such instances, you should include a comma before the characters' name. Exceptions are when the character is talking rather fast or feeling urgent. (Like in a battle scene.) Either way, I am sure you have improved your writing overall in the later chapters.

Act I - I love the interaction here. It's definitely interesting to bring up issues like courting and etc to a character whose body is shared by five people (guardians in this case.)

Act IV - Heh, the whole gang got a cultural shock upon arriving. The characters' reaction to the technology is really amusing to read.

Overall, a great chapter to end the first arc. (Totally love the comedy bits.) Onto the next arc!

Part I leaves us with "Aw, that was kind of nice of them." Part II leaves us with outright, "D'awww." Part III on the other hand, leaves you going: "O_O Oh sh-"

[SPOILER ALERT]

Part I -

Olivia: Getting into her head, which was much needed mind you. We can see a small plan in the works here, but she makes a valid point. Iris and Julie might need protecting. It's also a great way to start getting them more and more used to society.

Alicia: Almost said it, but then she let Olivia change the subject. - -" I kind of like their interaction here because it shows a more realistic conversation between two friends. Sure it has their plot-related stuff thrown in, but the bulk of the conversation in the beginning was a pretty normal conversation for girls their age.

Part II:

Akito - The epic grave visit before finally moving on. Nearly every main character with a tragic death in their past does this. I hope he enjoys his new home.

Akira - Earned her happy ending. Enough said.

Griselda - Gonna become the household maid. I call it right here, right now. xD On the serious side, her character showed a bit more this chapter. In a more silent way, she's an atoner-class character just trying to make up for what she feels was a horrible mistake. Then again, I agree with her. It should be interesting to see how these three characters bond as a family.

Melody - You're crazy, but okay. Have fun having weapons of mass destruction living in your house and probably getting into arguments that could blow up your home on a daily basis.

Part III:

Valdr - Something doesn't seem right with him. I get the feeling he's gonna reveal as an antagonist too. He hates Alastor, but seems to have an agenda of his own that doesn't exactly align with what the good guys want. He's probably the most mysterious character of the cast next to Aura and Genesis.

Alastor - Surprised we didn't see Genesis, but his last words in this part are ridiculously eerie. What's going to happen now I wonder? If even he's afraid, then something really bad must be coming. All I can say is, things are about to get real folks!

Overall, it serves the purpose of the epilogue. Ties up loose ends, makes the story feel more complete, and if there's a sequel, it leaves us going: what's going to happen next? Well done.

O_O Overkill final beatdown much?

[SPOILER ALERT]

I totally forgot about their beast blood powers! Nice insert and it helps the three other main protagonists keep up from what I can see. The three Velkan childhood friends had great teamwork in this chapter, though I laughed at how badly they trolled Kale. xD

Olivia - Phoenix Knight with a sword that's clearly a reference to excaliber. Personally, I liked how she basically just up and sliced off Kale's arm like a boss, but I want to see her do another fight on her own. I have confidence that Olivia could deliver even more amazing action than she did here.

Clow - Death is here and he is happy to see you. Seriously, whenever Clow assumes this form, his personality warps. His powers are incredibly badass though since he can use the black mark to create any weapon he wants and he can summon a soul-reaping scythe.

Alicia - Draconic Martial Artist. She had some good points in this fight, but I'm kind of glad that her character development arc is next now. Now that we're beyond fighting monsters, fists become a little obsolete. Even in the bigger RPGs, it's hard to work with fists so Alicia definitely has my sympathy. Maybe it's time for a new weapon?

Iris - When she mentioned her sister, I suddenly felt bad. Still, I have a feeling that she's going to become the power battery for Akira now.

Akito & Akira - So we get to the final blow. What is it you may ask? Oh, just Meteor Impact (Laharl) mixed with Meteor (Sephiroth) PLUS crashing it into an explosive pit of fire. Yep, they're monsters alright. I officially dub these two the monster twins. O_o

Ending was pretty touching, but it ties things up pretty well. Still, I can see why you made an epilogue. It feels like there should be more to this ending. Yet, adding something here would seem wrong.

Olivia and Akira are the point of view for the Epilogue? Now I'm interested seeing as Olivia needs more character development and Akira could use one last bit of screenshot time before being downgraded from the second main character to just being a major protagonist. Overall? This was nicely done.

[SPOILER ALERT]

"I am... ZERO!" - Lelouch Lamperouge (Code Geass R2 Ep 1) Basically what you did here. Akito lives again, but in slight subversion of your reference, it's more of a life in general thing than a symbol of war being reborn to start up his rebellion.

Akito - Good character development and finally we can leave his past life stuff in the closet. Probably why you did this arc. It was painful and he spilled tears, but he's finally establishing his identity in the story. Arc I was the discovery, but this arc was him figuring out what to do with that discovery. Now that that has happened, I think Akito will take a more upfront role in taking action in the story. Well thought out.

Joking note on Akito: Epic costume switch

Olivia, Clow, and Alicia kind of all took backseats, but suddenly went into badass mode towards the end of the chapter. Nice way to include everyone and get things going. Akira officially joins the party, and now we get to fight the arc's final boss.

Kale - But if you killed him, we wouldn't have a story. He's Akito's anti-thesis though. He abuses his power and openly brags about it while Akito hates it and tries to hide it. I wish we could see this contrast play out, but I have a feeling that this guy's definitely screwed.

Griselda - Mommy basically. She really rubbed reality into Akito's face and then went as far as to spread salt into the wounds, but she did it because she cares. I wouldn't be surprised if we found out that she's their godmother. I still kind of want to know more about this character though. Oh, and see her fight.

Shiva - I think I can guess why she can still talk to him. I'll PM you my guess.

All in all, the dialogue was a little awkward here and there, but it was a decent chapter. Nice work.

And we're STILL boiling down to the final conflict, but things are getting even more hectic with each chapter. Just a side comment: Best chapter name thus far.

[SPOILER ALERT]

Clow - That nightmare was downright creepy, but somehow I think there was a hint of foreshadowing in there.

Griselda - I swear to god you better not kill her off. From what I see, she's the badass mentor who serves as the parent to the protagonist. In most fiction, they're one of the big ones to die. Actually, that leads me to an excellent point: We still haven't seen her fight.

Olivia - An interesting display of intelligence. It shows a lot since for a majority of the entire story thus far, Olivia plays off as the goofy, teasing, childhood friend who happens to be a badass in fighting and a potential love interest for the main protagonist. Here she demonstrates the ability to think intelligibly and cynically. At least we know there are some wheels turning up there now.

Alicia - Well, that basically guarantees and proves to her that Claus is helping a villain. And she's still keeping quiet about it? Well, I guess I can understand her not wanting to throw her brother to the lions, but still... What will she do? I can guarantee that we're probably not finding out until next arc. - -"

Yuji didn't do much, so we'll out him this chapter. Same to Iris. On the topic of her though, I wonder what Celestia wants with her since they have Aura? Aerith seems to be involved with Celestia a lot too... I smell a rat.

Akira - Badass magical girl warrior with a black sword. Completely subverted Nanoha by switching to Fate's weapon of choice. Standing before the man responsible for main reason for being how she is now, how will this turn out?

Kale - Interesting information coming out about this guy. So there's another family of Synchronizers? Personal grudge against him? I sense a family war. On another note, love his last name.

Silver - Potential plot hole. If she and the other four hate this so much, why are they letting Aerith do this? This needs explaining. Interesting mentor/student relationship was shown here, but I kind of want to see just how much she cares. It seems to me like Silver really doesn't want to do this, so maybe she'll save Aura. We'll see.

Aura - So she doesn't want to. That's interesting to note. Again, potential plot hole, but why is she doing this then? You've made it obvious, but I can bet that these two are going to have their own full-blown sub plot in Arc III along with what seem to be the other three good guardians (Luna, Rein, and Claire).

It's official- you're trying to do what Code Geass did at the end of R1. Middle of the arc was kind of calm, but things were going down and now BAM the ending comes and all hell is breaking loose.

[SPOILER ALERT]

Clow - What the heck are you gonna do to him now?! Q_Q Please don't kill him.

Olivia - Playing supportive role to Yuji's backseat way of doing things. She and Akira prefer to be upfront while Yuji likes to sit in the back and watch the things he's manipulating occur from behind the scenes. I fear for her role as a main character, though you've made it clear that this is basically Yuji and Akira's character development arc, so I guess we're just going to have to wait for her turn. Though judging from the chapter, Alicia is next.

Alicia - Speaking of this character, I officially hate Claus now. It's totally unfair to use her admiration of him to get her to keep quiet about this. Moreover, I can't believe she agreed to it! Sets the tone for what's going to happen next arc though. I think I see what you're going for with what Genesis says he needs from the gate he wants to open. Alicia's about to become the atoner if this is any indicator.

Akira - I thought her interaction with Iris was cute, but the character development was what mattered here. She was forced to stand in front of her demons and accept them and herself. With this chapter, I can finally understand Akira's desire to at least be as strong as Yuji though. She really beats herself up for how weak she was, so trained pulled a Nanoha and went through the Training From Hell to become a badass. Looking forward to seeing what she does.

Yuji - Trying to be Lelouch, but everyone keeps dragging him into center stage. He wants to sit in the back and just kind of manipulate things here and there, but things keep barging in out of nowhere and ruining his plans.

Iris - You gave us VERY interesting information about Aura. I thought Aura was supposed to be Fate as far as references go, but Iris is proving to be more fitting for that role as she's the younger sister (Fate would be the little sister), but in subversion of Fate- she's happy on the outside but miserable on the inside for a similar reason to Akira- her inability to be of use to her loved ones and how they suffered because of that inability. How these two characters work together to overcome that will probably become the focal point of their sub-plots, which is nice since you made it seem as if Akira was an invincible one-man army previously. Now we're seeing a bit more vulnerability. Iris, you are the Rin to Akira's Sesshomaru.

O_O The tension is building! Dude, you're pulling a Code Geass. STAHP!

[SPOILER ALERT]

Alicia's side story seemed interesting. I wonder what Claus has to show her.

Clow's side story really has me mind-screwed. So Aerith is an antagonist?! What? Luna and Silver don't seem bad, but Silver seems kind of on the neutral scale. I kind of expected that Clow was different since he was supposed to become a demon when the Phantom God bit him and yet he got that angel form instead. Now we know that he's actually a demon. Makes me wonder if Clow'll turn evil though. He did seem pretty resentful of the others, which in a way I liked because it shows that he's frustrated with his lack of power, which is usually the start of a descent into darkness. What I don't want though is for him to pull a Sasuke and be an emo over it and hi-jack the story.

Olivia - Still waiting a little on this one, though we've seen more of that unresolved tension between Yuji and her building with each chapter. I don't know if it's your intention, but you're really implying that they're a couple or going to be. I usually hate it when this happens, but I actually kind of want to see a rival thrown in to mess that up and see how Olivia handles it. I would say Alicia, but then that makes an ugly and super cliche love triangle that has been done millions of times and I'd rather not see it happen here. Besides, they're too good of friends to do that to each other anyway so it wouldn't make sense.

Aura - Hmm... Not too sure what to think on this one. You're implying that she's going to die, but we haven't seen much of her. Not sure how to feel about that, but I can tell that this is definitely going to be one of Aura's last appearances before Arc III where she will either die or have something terrible happen to her. You've laid that out pretty clearly. I just hope you throw in a bit more development and allow us to get attached to her more before she goes.

Akira - Becoming the typical sister character, but with an action girl twist to it. I still am under the suspicion that as they are now, she's the stronger of the two of them, but we still haven't seen Yuji with all eight of his Synchronizer weapons yet so I guess we can't say that for sure. Actually, that brings up a good point.

Yuji - One of the few main characters that is strong, but has that one extra power that people keep mentioning, but it's Arc II and we still haven't seen it. I want to see just how powerful he is, more so that I can determine whether it's overdone or not. Main characters do have to be powerful, but once you get into Ichigo Kurosaki, Naruto Uzumaki, or Goku territory, things can get downright ridiculous.

Remember the seinen thing I mentioned last time? Yeah, we're getting there now because the plot's getting a little too dark to be a shounen.

That's about all I have to say. Nice work.

Good god, Akira's a scary little girl. Remind me to never piss her off. O_O All I can say is that I was right last chapter: Nanoha Shion basically Akira.

[SPOILER ALERT]

I'm kinda glad that Alicia had the common sense to tell people to look away, but it also shows something for her as a character. Before, Alicia probably would've been to shy to speak to a stranger like that. At least she made the attempt, which I like. Clow and Olivia didn't do much this chapter, so I'm going to wait and see what they do from here.

I will say this though: I thought Akira's actions were a bit overdone. I mean in all seriousness she went to town on that guy. This looked like regular school life- I seriously thought you were gonna be a little lax and then BOOM you drop the action/plot bomb on us in the last few chapters and then hurtle us right into Higurashi-esque psychotic assault in this chapter. That's not a bad thing, but the fact that Akira went overboard also demonstrated that she's very powerful, so you've set the bar kind of high. You might want to think of developing your other characters and not inventing a super powerful attack for a while so that you don't go into DBZ syndrome. That or you risk Akira suffering canon sue from being OP and feared by everyone in the cast (though that fear would be awfully justified).

From this alone, the story's balance between shounen and seinen kind of tipped toward seinen. If you master descriptions a little more, the seinen scale might tip even further with better descriptions of gore in battle. Your themes are dark enough, now you just need the necessary imagery for it.

O_o Gotta admit, I wasn't expecting the ending.

[Spoiler Alert]

We get to hear about yet another one of the Velkans' interesting gizmos while seeing what happens when Yuji uses his real powers. Still, Akira pulled a Lelouch towards the end. Her dialogue nearly screams it, though that may have been an intentional reference.

What really got my attention on Akira this chapter was that you gave her a third dimension to her character. You made it perhaps a little too obvious that she's a parody/reference of Nanoha Takamachi, but then we find out underneath that white devil exterior is a little girl who just misses her brother, and now we discover that when she gets pissed that unlike Nanoha, she will openly go nuts on people like Shion Sonozaki. Nanoha just wants to make friends and settles things peacefully (well, her idea of peacefully anyway). Akira however goes the reverse route of this by outright saying do as I say or die from what it seems. With that, I can officially call Akira her own character. Congratulations.

Let's just hope things don't get too violent. Aren't the other students in there?

After a long absence, I am back to review!

Personally, I like the upgrades you gave to the story. It gives the story more depth and content, though I think you could've done without the Act thing.

After re-reading and regathering my thoughts, I'd have to say that [SPOILER ALERT]:

Akira: has been fleshed out a little more. We can see a motive, but I'm kind of curious as to what this score she wants to settle with Yuji is. From what Akira says, she just wants her brother back, but seems to have a personal matter to settle with him. Meanwhile, Yuji's only pretending not to remember, which added a nice bit of tension until he tells her the truth in this chapter. Now the real question becomes whether or not Akira will become a protagonist or not. To me, she still kind of sits on the line of an anti-hero.

Yuji: Dang, usually the protagonist has an unjustified power, but I can kind of understand why he's strong now. He's got eight people loaded within him like a bunch of extra batteries of power. Still, it was nice to show that flashback because when it was first brought up that he killed them, it made me curious as to what actually happened that day. It should be interesting to see what Yuji plans to do now since he made it clear last arc that he wants to get revenge on Celestia.

No one else really has presence this chapter, as it was mostly a character development chapter for the Shakugami twins. Regardless, it was pretty good. Keep it up and I'm reading on!

I will sit here and wait for the next level (3 seconds later) okay I'm already impatient... By the way since I'm bored of waiting can I draw pictures of Olivia and Alicia I feel I should ask since I must learn to be polite.