|Reviews for Haiku for a Prostitute|
| Ygg 1/8/13 . chapter 1
Powerful and tragic. Painfully tragic even given the dramatic imagery you used, which works quite effective. Well done! Keep writing!
| electrical moon 8/16/12 . chapter 1
This is lovely in its brevity. The extra line and the unexpectedness of it as it follows the form of the haiku is just great.
| pseudonymsurname 8/11/12 . chapter 1
Heh, the title caught my eye and so here I am. Yeah, another good one. I like the metaphor of the prostitute being a barbie doll - everything comes down to and is about the exterior. The imagery is gritty and fit well with the idea in this. Thought it worked well.
Only kinda 'constructive criticism' I'd have would be to call a spade a spade. Ie. since this isn't a haiku, don't call it one. Modern poetry doesn't need to conform to structure and schemes as much as it used to way back when and I think this can stand up by itself without a specific label... if that makes any sense at all :)
| Abbytjie 7/29/12 . chapter 1
Really beautiful, even though it's not a haiku. Having the second and last line rhyme (sort of) makes it really poignant. I really, really love how the first three lines contrast amazingly with the last one. So sad and so true.
| Basara 7/26/12 . chapter 1
ignoring traditional rules, yes to the point.
| ohsocyanide 7/21/12 . chapter 1
Okay, so the "prostitute" totally drew me in. I finally made a list of all the reviews that I need to return and I was thinking, "Okay, what should I review of hidden jewel's? Is there a certain thing she wants me to- PROSTITUTE."
I really like the third line, "a living, breathing barbie doll." I very rarely read poetry on here, but I do really like this. It's rather impressive that you managed to keep a poem on prostitutes (ugh, "prostitute keeps autocorrecting to "prostrate") at a K rating. *thoroughly dazzled*
| Cynthia Brent 7/16/12 . chapter 1
What matters is that the emotional impact is so powerful and the descriptions are so vivid! Strictly speaking, it would be 5-7-5, maybe like this:
Chipped red nail polish,
Living doll, silicon boobs,
Battered and bruised.
But I still think your version totally rocks. Hope you can come over and review some of mine!
| Meadow Frost 7/15/12 . chapter 1
The extra line completely made it so I wont complain at all.
| Natari Mirumura 7/15/12 . chapter 1
This is really wonderful. Expressed in few words, yet the message is clearly delivered. Amazing, keep it up :D
| catching.my.breath 7/15/12 . chapter 1
Very nice! Love the last line-it adds more interest to it!