|Reviews for Paper Flowers|
| ADD1CTED 1/4/13 . chapter 3
My gosh! I haven't read a good fluffy one shot/short story. You've made me miss them so much. Seriously, I adored this.
| Metal Flowers 12/4/12 . chapter 3
Aw, the paper flowers were so...cute! Wow, I need to learn some new words. I feel so fulfilled after reading this...thank you for sharing this with the people of Fictionpress!
| Metal Flowers 12/4/12 . chapter 2
This was so sweet and cute. I love how I can get so much from one chapter...wow. I'm learning so much about writing just by reading this.
| Metal Flowers 12/4/12 . chapter 1
This is so cute, and sad! It's sad cute. Sute. Cud. I can barely stand the wait to type this review to read the next page.
| WhenAllSeemsDark 10/31/12 . chapter 3
So you asked me to review, so here it is. (:
I loved this story. Simple as that. I love how you mentioned the accident many times in the story but didn't reveal what it was until chapter three. It made me want to know more about it. You were able to capture the characters' emotions really well. I love how Ethan seemed cold and angry all the time, but you added little snippets of his thoughts so it made me understand that he really was a good person. I liked Rose's hesitance and quiet personality. I think the thing I loved the most was the fact that it was so obvious how much they loved each other, even when Ethan seemed close off.
This story was so sweet and it makes me wish that it was a little bit longer.
You're a great writer. Keep it up! (:
| hector 9/4/12 . chapter 2
wow this story is amazing. please post more :'(((((((((((((((((
| shara 9/4/12 . chapter 1
watch veronica mars
| funnechick 7/31/12 . chapter 3
Aww...this was great! I have to admit, many times while reading this I wanted to punch Ethan for being such a dimwit, but...he redeemed himself. I just wish it didn't take almost a year for him to realize it. But I did like the ending..."I do."
| alwayslumos 7/23/12 . chapter 3
This was such a heart-wrenching and emotional read but still greatly uplifting.
Your writing is simply brilliant. I wanted to be mad or angry at Ethan but I couldn't because there was depth to him. You showed his emotions and turmoil really well.
I could imagine their feelings and not just simply read to acknowledge.
Rose was a sweet character but she wasn't just two-dimensional. I actually got quite attached to her by the end.
This was a fantastic read and it's really heightened my curiosity so I'll definitely be checking out more of your work in the future.
| EnchantedKorean 7/21/12 . chapter 3
That was a very well-written story. I quite liked it :)
| TinfoilKnight 7/20/12 . chapter 1
[She was beginning to unknow him.] I love this first line! The word "unknow" really grabs my attention.
To me, the prose in this seems a little overworked. [Said deterioration was interesting.] [ever so gradually.] [if only to gorge themselves on funnel cake] [if he ever so much as smiled at her.] The "said" at the beginning of the second paragraph sounds needlessly formal, in my opinion. The repitition of "if" and "so" also sounds a little formal. I like it in "ever so gradually" but I think in the next paragraphs it starts to sound a little stiff and repetitive. People don't actually say "ever so _" or "if only to _" that often in everyday speech, so several phrases like this in such a small chapter make it sound deliberate and unnatural. /nitpick D:
I like the glimpse this chapter gives into their relationship. It sets the story up for conflict between the two of them, and I'm interested to see that. This chapter definitely makes me want to read more about them.
Keep writing! :)
| Muj 7/19/12 . chapter 3
Love love love it! I think there was a mixup with "than" and "then" somewhere but I'm not sure. Again, I loved it!
| Nadine 7/18/12 . chapter 1
Wow, I've only just read the first chapter but I'm captured already. Can't wait to read on!
| Vivace.Assai 7/18/12 . chapter 2
As a first note, I'm not really sure what happened to your formatting, but it's slightly difficult to read. There isn't any blank spaces between the paragraphs that FP usually does. I don't know if it's my computer of the evil virus of FP acting up, but you should check just to make sure...
So I’m reviewing as I’m reading. Therefore, if I say anything peculiar or ask any questions that get explained later on, just know it’s because I’m reading as I’m reviewing…
Okay… never mind… Your formatting just returned to normal again (I think it’s my computer’s fault). Ignore the very first paragraph. See, I’m reviewing as I’m reading – thus, these weird problems.
Now, I liked how you didn’t give Rose’s name in the first chapter until now. It just helps readers connect with her, since Rose can be any girl. But when you give the character a name, she becomes a specific person with a specific personality. It’s great that you chose now to give Rose a name; it helps define her and helps readers know her as a person so they empathize with *her* story (the ** is to indicate italics). But before, when you were just describing her emotions, it was more poignant to not give her a name – to make her a figure that can be anybody. So great stylistic choice! :)
[She didn't like coffee, he did.] Not sure about this, but I think a semi-colon would be more appropriate than a comma. These are two separate sentences, so a comma wouldn’t make sense to separate them.
["I was craving pasta," She said, attempting to defend herself] You shouldn’t capitalize “she.” It is a speaker tag so grammatically speaking, it should be written: [“I was craving pasta,” she said…]
["You could've ordered pasta." He snapped, cross as ever.] Here is one of those grey areas. Personally, I like to include “he snapped” with my list of speaker tags. So I would write: [“You could’ve ordered pasta,” he snapped…] But I’m not too sure about this one. You can make the verdict about it.
[He'd started his reproach the second he walked through the door, his tie and jacket were still on, flakes of snow littering his sandy-brown hair.] Here, once again, I think a semi-colon would be better. Or you could take out the “were” in “his tie and jacket were still on” and that would fix the problem.
[he'd said something about this firm seemed pretty positive.] This sentence didn’t sound right to me. I think writing “about how this firm seemed pretty positive” might make it sound better. BUT: this is just a suggestion. In fact, most of my critique are usually suggestions (except for that speaker tag one) – you can chose to follow it or not.
But anyways, I find that this relationship between Rose and Ethan to be very complex. Rose loves Ethan; otherwise, she would probably leave him by now. Because, seriously, there is so much a girl can take before she becomes impatient and angry. Furthermore, at first, it appears Ethan has lost all affection for Rose. He is always angry at her; he bickers with her. In fact, Ethan is rather controlling. Why won’t he let her work? I find this to be an indication of the staple controlling, dominant male. But then, Ethan does something surprising. He hugs Rose at night. And he checks to see if she is asleep first before doing so. There are so many questions about this relationship. Why is Ethan afraid to show his love? How does Ethan feel about Rose? We understand Rose well but Ethan is a mystery and this makes their story even more engrossing.
That scene between Rose and Steven was creepy… But it once again reflected some peculiarities in Rose’s relationship with Ethan. Ethan doe seem distressed about her, suggesting that he cares about her and wants to protect her. Somehow, I have a feeling that Ethan is really overprotective for some peculiar reason. Steven hinted at “an accident,” so I assume it is related to that.
Okay, so I basically read the last half of this in a moment so this next part will be less detailed:
I find the reveal of the accident to be quite intriguing but now it makes perfect sense. Why Ethan can’t smoke. Why he’s scared about her working. Why he doesn’t even want her to physically exert herself. It’s because of her lungs. And the accident – though stereotypical – was done very well. I mean, car accidents seem to be the most used accident in all romance stories but you somehow made it seem different and emotional. I would have liked more description into how broken and beaten Rose looked – that would have really tugged at my heartstrings. But you essentially got a lot of emotion out and made readers understand why Ethan is the way he is. He isn’t controlling. He’s just scared for this girl he loves. Suddenly, I can’t be on Rose or Ethan’s side because both of them have perfectly understandable reasoning that I can connect with.
I like how you build onto the characters little by little. Rose has always been characterized from the beginning but you also added a bit more into her feelings. Her insecurities. Her worries. What is making her tick. As for Ethan, you’ve slowly and progressively delved deeper into his personality, making him grow as a person and slowly unraveling his character to the readers. It’s like he is this mystery and you’re slowly showing this mystery. It kind of parallels how Rose is slowly discovering that Ethan does love her. So I really like that, too.
The climax in the end and the resolution were well done. It makes sense that there would first be a fight that results in the fall-out. It makes sense that Ethan and Rose would have to both understand each other for there to be any happiness. So I like how you’ve classified all the problems through little snippets of their life and then how you’ve resolved all those problems. Very realistic and very satisfying – I don’t think there’s a better way you could have ended it and I liked that.
So plot was good. I really love the characters since they have realistic reactions. I would probably baby my loved one if they were in danger of dying and I feel the guilt of causing it. But I would probably be annoyed at how careful Ethan is if I was in his position. So the characters are real but they react in complex ways – completely in tune with human nature. You don’t take the easy, stereotypical way of classifying them. You give them many facets and aspects, like with Ethan. He’s just so complex and unreadable. And that’s the way people are: complex, unreadable, filled with so many different attitudes and reasons for their actions. So I enjoy these characters and they endear themselves to me.
Now, my only major concrit is that I think I would have enjoyed this story more if it was separated in a few more chapters. You packed a lot in the second chapter and it kind of got tiring to read after awhile. I think if you separated it into more chapters, the pacing would feel a lot more relaxed. But that’s just a suggestion.
I must say, this isn’t just one of those regular, run of the mill romance fiction story that you find here. It has a lot of plot and sustenance and I really like that. So great job with this story. I really enjoyed it!
| Vivace.Assai 7/18/12 . chapter 1
Your opening is great. It immediately captured my attention since the girl uses the word "unknowing." At first, I think: "I don't think that's a word" but once the girl clarifies that she knows it isn't a word, I found the opening even more poignant. There are just times when real words cannot describe our emotions, especially something so complicated as relationships. So I thought the opening grabbed my attention while also reflecting emotions nicely.
Furthermore, I liked how you descrbied how her boyfriend has changed and how he used to be. It gives us context into what has happened with this girl's life and why she is so sad and puzzled about the relationship's deterioration. Your language just carries a rather reminiscent, wistful, and mournful tone to it - fitting for what is happening.
So overall, I think this first chapter nicely captured the emotions the girl had - fitting considering that this is a romance story about emotions. The plot is key but the characters and their sadness is what makes this story interesting and engrossing for the readers. So good job!