Before Asha:

I sprint along the worn down path as they chase. They want our blood.
A bloodcurdling scream.
It's the scream of a girl.
Who was it?
Chainey?
Louette?
Wren?
Katia?
Cecelia?
BANG.
The sound of a gun.
I reach the edge of the boundaries. Running from them is all I have ever known.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMM
The buzzer sounds.
I go back to the home that I have always known.
Where our hunters live.
I look at the bodies.
Cecelia, Katia, Hunter, and Seth. Dead.
I head back to where the Hunters are waiting.
They set out to cook the dead Runner's meat, and we go to the lunch-area.
"Arielle." says Arakati, the Hunter.
"Tonight we hunt YOU."

awesome! your book is really good so far (i'm on the 1# chapter), it's very diferent (in a good way!), and i enjoy your writing style. i'm looking forward to reading more!
oh, and i don't think that the gore leval was that bad at all

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Outside of the fence. o.o And a secret passage in the fireplace?! This is definitely a game changer. What else could be beyond the fence? Could they find society? Their memories?

Short chapter, but I really liked the interaction between Glynn and Asha in this chapter. My memory is a little fuzzy from the time gap, but I feel like they haven't had a lot of time to talk properly. So the sort of distrust/distance vibe I was getting felt well played. Despite everything that has happened, they still try to remain as kids.

I think there are just a lot of surprising things with this chapter concerning the fence and the Creatures and what these cannibals are doing to keep these kids locked away. The mystery gets stranger and stranger and I liked the ending. Keep it up, you're doing great! :)

THIS. IS. EPIC!
I read it all in one sitting. It is TOO good for fiction. This should become a novel.

She accepted, what?! XD Aahh! She's right, though, to survive, you gotta do what you gotta do. Man, this is crazy, though.

I never figured Wren for a crazy one, though besides Gabriel and Daemon, the other Hunters weren't really in the spotlight much. It's surprising how similar Wren and Asha's backgrounds are, though. Maybe Asha should look at Wren and ask herself if she really wants to end up like that.

I do wonder where Glynn goes during the runs. Maybe he climbs the trees. Huh. Would that even be a smart tactic? MAN. I REALLY WANT THE HUNTERS TO DIE.

Sorry. ._.

Well, I don't want Asha to die, but all the other ones. Grawr. It makes me so mad. XD I am just imagining all the Runners climbing up in trees and then dropping down on the unsuspecting Hunters and clubbing them. x_x

Okay, I wasn't expecting Gabriel to get all lovey-dovey and start with this marriage stuff. Actually, I wonder if this is just another one of his many faces of crazy, because I felt like he was uncommonly friendly and chipper in this chapter. He was almost like a child.

Hopefully Asha doesn't die. I'm worried about whoever is approaching her. What if it's not even a Hunter or a Runner? What if it's an even greater villain?! *imagination runs wild*

I hope it is Glynn, though. xD Wait, no! What if she has to kill him? D: You know, I'm surprised by the fact that Asha *is* even in love with him, but then I'm somewhat jaded. I think it would be interesting if the dynamics of her love were true or more on an obsessive level, considering everything she's gone through.

A very fun read. Good luck with all your writing! :D

Velvet.

Soooo interesting! I can't wait for the next chapter!

I really really really loveeee your story! At first I was like, oh a Hunger Games take, but then I was like OMGGGGGGG this is sooooo intense! I thought that Asha would push Glynn away more than that, but I like it. It shows how much he got to her with his questions.

I do think that more descriptions would be nice, or if you have more time, draw or find suitable pictures of how you imagine the characters to be. I think that would be super great :D.

I wonder if Asha has nightmares, similar to the one she had of Peri and Ellen, or was that her imagination? Anyways, I think that if you show through her nightmares her previous relationship with Peri or something that'd be nice because Peri is mentioned but there's really no background to her relationship.

So anyways, I'm in love with your writing. I read all 5 chapters for this in 1 sitting, and I also read your 2 chapters for The Program. I'm very much looking forward to the next chapters. Both stories have their own good aspects and my interest is definitely captured by both.

Hope to see your posts soon! :D 3 3

Wow, this story is sooo good. Keep writing more please! At first the cannibalism was gross, but the way you wrote it made it somewhat funny and less sickening.

Poor Asha. :[ I really want to see Gabriel die. Gah! I wish they could shove him in one of the ovens and see how he likes it! He's such a pyschopath, ugh. I hate that the Hunters have all the power and the Runners have nothing. The dynamic that I'm starting to pull from the Hunters and Runners is less predator v prey and more master and slaves. Because sure they do eat them, but they're farming them as opposed to hunting them. It's like those game reserves, only the game is domestic rabbits.

I do wonder why they don't let the Runners age past eighteen, though. Is it less fun to chase adults? Are they pedophile cannibals?

I wonder if Asha will accept becoming a Hunter. It would mean she'd have to eat one of the other Runners, and I don't know how she'd go through with that. :\ If she doesn't, her days are numbered and that means she'll really have to fight for her life. It makes me wonder if she decides not to whether or not the tables will finally turn on the Hunters.

A shocking chapter, but I enjoyed it. I can't wait to find out Asha's decision!

Velvet.

I can't help but think the thing with Glynn is too...obvious, too fast. Their relationship isn't really progressing at a normal pace, (I feel like a therapist or something haha). Glynn also would need more time to adjust, I think, and curl up in the fetal position on the floor or something. And even then he'd still be a bit more wary, like when he first sees Asha. I think she would try harder to push him away, as well, not tell him her name or refuse to look at him. I'm glad she told him about the meat though. When I read that part my reaction was basically- jdholykjbeuIdontgbwhatjnls. You were NOT kidding about being graphic. That IS the intended effect for a story like this though, so good job.
I also think her relationship with Ellen is a bit weird, because for a while Asha likes her, she talks to her and sympathizes and defends her, and then suddenly she's claiming she doesn't like Ellen, saying she tries too hard, etc.
I like the feeling of the end, it feels more desperate and intense, especially the last line. Its impact is a good way to end the chapter.
-AThousandPromises

This looks really promising; it seems original and interesting. It kind of reminds me of the Maze Runner and the Hunger Games, but rather than being too much alike, it's more like it incorporates my favourite aspects of the books.
I love the opening part, but I think it could be longer, as well as the end of this chapter, because its more important at this stage to set up the past and background information than to focus on the present events. The reader needs to know more about how Asha got there, why she's there, the people there with her, etc.
Also, I think that the place where she lives is too casual, I would've thought they wouldn't let them leave or walk around or watch TV. I kind of thought it was more enclosed? It doesn't really feel right, and I think it just gives the story the wrong feeling overall.
Ignoring my tendency to focus on negative parts, I still love this. It captured my interest right away and I actually read three chapters straight through before going back to type this review because I didn't want to stop reading.
-AThousandPromises

Brilliant! I rarely read novels, but this is keeping me glued.

OMG. this is a VERY good piece of writing. I like the description of when new people come. hope you write more. cant wait!

WOW! Alex, I knew when I first read your blog that you were/are a fantastic writer. This is brilliant! It reminded me of the hunger-games but not for long. It took on its own identity pretty quick and is a riveting read. I really believe you will become a bestselling author. Keep writing and never doubt your gift.

Review courtesy of the Review Marathon. Link in my profile!

So before I start flailing about how much I loved this chapter, I have to say that I think your writing is fantastic. The way you write action makes me absolutely green with envy, but I can't stay that way for long because I'm so into it. I feel like if I take my eyes off the screen for even one minute in those fast paced scenes that some horrible death will occur or some other terrible thing. I just have to say it now because I kept forgetting to say so in the other chapters.

On to the content: I hate Gabriel so much. That guy... aoie djngke! Man, I just want him to die. I want him to die horribly. This side of him is so startling, but I kind of figured he'd be something close to psychotic, considering the way he gets his kicks. But it's good, him having different sides to his character, no matter how demented they are. It means he's got to have a weakness of some sort, and Asha just has to figure out how to exploit the crap out of it.

You know, something I wondered about was, if Asha refuses to let them kill her, why don't they try to turn the tables on the Hunters? They could make knives from tree branches. They could uproot the fence, do that whole line illusion trick and lure a Hunter into Creature territory. Man, I'd love to see them fight back.

I like the way the relationship between Glynn and Asha is developing. I particularly like the fact that Glynn still has a bit of "outside world" in him, and the way it affects Asha. I think it's important, showing how years of fearing and running for one's life can have grave negative consequences. It's like they've lost that part of their social skills.

This story is awesome, I'm glad I found it. Keep up the good work! :)

Velvet.