I'm so happy that you stopped hurting yourself... but you need sleep. You should ask your doctor if you could use prazosin, which is a medicine which can prevent you from dreaming. Also, hypnosis might be worth a try too, maybe you could ask your therapist about that.

Nice but sad... Stupid boy

good poem. It kind of felt like deja vu in the beginning like you had written a few poems like this. Still loved it though. Maybe you should try lucid dreaming. Like dreaming when you're still in a half awake, half asleep state, and you control your dreams then when you sleep your mind continues them for you. That's the only way I can sleep without reliving stuff. Try it? Anyway great write.

I can't help but worry when I read this.