|Reviews for Pink Locker Society: The New Girl|
| Silvore 8/1/12 . chapter 3
Cool... interesting. I do think the club idea can be intriguing but a little... drastic? They seem a bit worse than the popular bitches to be making a club about it, but I guess that's what you need for your story. Looking out for the next chapter!
| Silvore 7/30/12 . chapter 2
Cool, I enjoyed this one as well. It was really good. The only criticisms I have is that Emma seems a little too rash. I don't know if you're building that into her character or not, but I thought she was. And minor spelling errors: "principal" not "principle", "sponsor" not "sponser". Besides that, nice.
| Anne Hendricks 7/30/12 . chapter 2
Pretty good :) Kept me hooked for sure :) Keep up the good work
| Silvore 7/27/12 . chapter 1
Um... wow. I don't know why but I was immediately pulled to read this story from the YA list, and I'm definitely glad I did.
Your writing is really good. Everything is realistic and the dialogue is very natural. Keep up the way/words they talk, because it really makes the story pop :) You're doing great with narrative as well; I can clearly see the story in my mind and you add just the right amounts so that it'll be a little different for every reader but still give the same picture
I always try to look for one suggestion/constructive criticism in the story, and it was quite hard to find in yours, actually. I keep trying something then I go up to reread it and see that you did it well! :) I would just say is be careful about over-describing with the character's looks. You didn't have a problem with it here, but I think it's important to remind you that you should only give the amount of a person's description to give the reader the feel of their personality (although you seem like you know this already). Clothes would probably not be necessary beyond the first day, as we get that Emma and Abby dress normally (unless, of course, they change styles or clothes are important to the story) and that the girls dressing pink are popular, etc. But even that was executed very well.
The flow of this story is great, its so fluid and easy to capture; I feel like I really got Emma's head/world. Outstanding job, I could definitely see this as the first chapter of a printed, published book.