|Reviews for Forgotten|
| Ldihawk 7/28/12 . chapter 1
Interesting and mysterious story. It's definitely a promising start. Generally, it's well-written and I'm looking forward to your next update.
There were some minor grammatical issues that I want to mention since others have done the same for me:
1. You mention the Mason laid in bed and I'm not sure that Mason lay in bed might not be more correct.
2. Once upon a time there was our planet. Earth. -This might better read as "once upon a time, there was our planet, Earth.
3. The father character (although I suspect her might not be a father in the traditional sense), Brand tells a story and I believe the dialogue if uninterrupted can be one passage within quotation marks. Otherwise, it seems a bit confusing.
Keep writing and overall well done!