| Reviews for Apprentice of the Dark |
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HikariGaijin 10/15/12 . chapter 2 This chapter could use a bit of work. First of all, Liam is indeed having to deal with the ideal of becoming a man, but his character isn't very interesting. Second, I don't know if this is set in medieval times, but maybe words like "awesome" should be avoided. Nothing to note after that. |
HikariGaijin 10/15/12 . chapter 1 Somewhat strong start with this. I really like the description you gave this story, and you're managing to keep everything really light right now, but I kind of wish there was a bit of background on the characters, particularly Liam. |
Jave Harron 10/6/12 . chapter 1Okay, the start of the chapter had some good descriptions of your characters. However, as fantasy stories often do, there's a good bit of exposition in there (although some is obviously thematically relevant). The first chapter is a bit dialogue heavy, but the characters seem a bit confusing near the end, at least who is saying what. The characters don't seem to have much distinct 'voice' in that last conversational segment. |
Tanuki-san-chan-kun-whatever 9/24/12 . chapter 1It very interesting, and I really like it! Thats the only the thing I can think of... |
Melody Melone 8/11/12 . chapter 1No |
Swallow-tailed Kite 8/5/12 . chapter 2well duh you speak in a voice ._. "Risa, Durant, and Liam all stepped back together as Evlein began to speak in a voice." that needs correcting xD |