| Reviews for Sophia |
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Dreamers-Requiem 10/2/12 . chapter 1I don't feel that this really works - there's a really interesting idea and concept underlying it, but it reads too much like a list. There's little to make a reader invested in any of the characters, and in some parts I felt you leaned too heavily on simply repeating the morals contained in myths. With so many different characters, it was hard to keep track, and in some parts felt confusing. I think with some work, and maybe by making it more story like (maybe stretching it out and having snippets of the different characters told in a more story like way) it could work really well. |
Small Wings Flying 8/23/12 . chapter 1Lol, for some reason I read "lively" instead of lovely. I think you've got a good beginning. Not spectacular, but good and solid as it sets a character and a context. It's the "lovely" part that gets me too be honest - it's borderline cliche in my book. I think a different adjective could serve your purposes better. Lovely is almost dainty-like, a little inappropiate for the setting. I like how you've given Sophia a name and then de-personify her into a goddess-like creature as opposed to a human. It shows a sort of ascension, of superiority. Really gives it that fable feel. I also like all these little stories you've thrown in. Nice little tidbits of interest that serve to paint the world/time/context this is set in. |