I'm very intrigued by your beginning! hopefully you upload more soon.
I thought the descriptions were crisp and there is certainly an element of mystery. Huge parts of the story so far, though, is declarative and so it comes off as terse and a little curt. But if that's the way it's supposed to be, then ignore what I just said :)

ooh, i'm intrigued! i like it. it has good momentum and a strong narrative. maybe try experimenting with different tenses to really pack a punch?