Your dialogue is great, I think you're quite good at conveying the characters' personalities through a few lines of dialogue and a couple of actions. Don't forget to start a new line for every turn of dialogue. Despite this being a good read, it was a bit difficult to work through a big block of text like that. You also should run a spell check program over this as there were some misspelled words like "suspific" and "portrate".

Very curious to see what lengths Gavin goes to to paint Thisbe, hope you update soon with a longer chapter!