|Reviews for Princess?|
| Christwriter-studios 8/9/12 . chapter 1
Not bad. I like the wording and the pacing, and I'd definately read more.
I think a few aspects of the concept could use a little polish, though. The main character's name is...uh...sorry. Kaat Lion? Not exactly a good name. More of a "what were their parents thinking" name. It would work if she got teased HIDEOUSLY for being named "Cat Lion", because she would be. Maybe something like "Katherine Lyon" or something, so that her nickname is "Kat" would work. Side note: How often do her school enemies tease her by going "here kitty kitty?"
The abuse in her past is a little much. I think it's due to how it's presented. It reads a little like "My dad beat me, my step dad rapes me, and my mom's coked out of her mind so she doesn't care...oh well. On to school!" These are things that can be revealed later in the story-a lot later, and should be presented with emotional weight, because you can be damn sure your character will be more than a little screwed up in the head because of it. I'd recommend doing a little research, especially on what incest does to the brain. It's the kind of thing you go out of your way not to think about. EVER. It's not something that you talk about when you introduce yourself to a person.
All that said, I think it's a good story and I look forward to reading more.