Damn, that prose is as purple as can be, as I expected when you said poetry in the summary.
Not that it's BAD, don't get me wrong, it's extraordinary, but hot damn. It took me hours to get that "
Small mistakes: "A girl about the age of five. , " the period doesn't belong there."Mountainous cities was leveled from below, their geometric shadows rained thunderous screams emblazoned in pain and pandemonium. " They WERE leveled below...
"Infrastructures that used to aim their heights to the sky was humbled down in pieces" Again WERE, not was.
I already love this piece too much to let it get away with anything, so please try fixing them.