Lol! Def continue this! Its sooo funny!

Well, I like it! It's an amusing exercise in pathos, and I'd love to read more. The only problems that I can see are typos:
"a million cats wailing all at oncd" and "a whirlwind of several stages of emopossibly the shortest time possible." Is "emopossibly" a word now? ;)

Chocolate is GOOD! :)

I laughed the WHOLE WAY THROUGH. I know exactly what it means to be without Wifi. It's worst thing EVER. I would probably consider suicide too if I didn't have my laptop. Jesus this was funny, continue!