This is such an amazing story! I loved reading it because it was so captivating

wow...WOW...loved it. Just wow.

I love the voice in this story. It's extremely casual and helps you feel for the narrator. Such a sweet moment at the end - not impressed the brunette sister is a tramp, mind...

This is an exceptional piece of work, FD. I really love it and I do hope you think about writing one shots more often.

"I guessed they were sisters. Her sister was a gorgeous girl." I'd have probably spaced these two, to make them different paragraphs? It's completely up to you though!

I hope you write more soon!

This is a completely different kind of read, and you pulled it off. I vote that maybe you do write more one shots!

Cute story.

I caught this on my hotmail and didn't sign in.

This is an absolute jem! I love the use of voice and narrative it's extremely effective and kept me reading on.

Hum, that girl, she sounded really familiar ;) Description was lovely and everything hit the spot. It's going to be favourited when I sign in! xxx

Is the main character by any chance based on a certain ginger girl I know? :P
Really liked this little one shot, and am pretty sure you're just posting all this to get back at me for not posting!
Love it lots!

This was an extremely well written one-shot, especially if it's a layout and style you're not used to writing. I believe that maybe one-shots are your thing, you've just never had the credit you deserve for your writing! I do hope you write more soon.

I would have never guessed that you didn't write oneshots or in first person, because you pulled this story off beautifully! I loved how most of this was monologue and how well you used it to describe everything and how he's telling this to his daughter.

Ali

i love this oneshot. it's funny but at the same time heart warming and you mix in the romance too. i could see ou becoming a best selling author with the great structure that you have in your writing.

Best one shot I've ever read! :)