|Reviews for Xylyte: Portal of Darkness|
| SUPERMAAAN 5/8/13 . chapter 1
| Jax Creation 10/30/12 . chapter 1
Ok, the summary really got me intrigued. The premise is AWESOME! However, I have to be honest and say that the (lack of) formatting really deterred me from reading past the first couple of sentences.
Large blocks of writing, such as you have here, are daunting and extremely difficult to read—particularly since it is an Internet publication. The length also can be quite daunting for readers too. When there are no indicators to a change of thought, it is rather hard to follow what's going on.
So, in order to fix this problem, you need to break up your text. Whenever there is a new topic/idea in narration, or a change of speakers in dialogue start a new line/paragraph. I think you'll find that you'll probably get more readers/reviewers once this has been formatted in a way that is easier to read.
I am not trying to be mean (I don't believe in giving flames), merely just giving some constructive criticism. I really like this concept and I would love to take the time to read this (I would not take the time to write all out this out otherwise), but as I said, the large blocks of text make it a bit difficult. From what I've scanned, your writing is very good and the idea is solid, it's just the formatting that needs work.
If you like, I'd be happy to go through it at a later date to help break up the text—as I said I really do want to read this—otherwise I suggest finding a beta-reader to help out.
Hope this doesn't get you down (I mean I really, really, REALLY love the concept), I just feel that this deserves to have more readers/reviewers/followers/faves so I thought I'd point out why I think it doesn't have more of those.
Anyway I'm really sorry if I'm being harsh! (TT_TT) Please feel free to ignore this review...