|Reviews for WolfsBane|
| Swallow-tailed Kite 8/16/12 . chapter 1
Add a page break when you just suddenly switch between POVs. Otherwise they are just really confusing. Some illogical bits at the start. Why does Kira despise Tsume so much? Just because he's popular and everyone just fawns over him? Nah.. Maybe add a scene where she was trying to be nice towards Tsume, and he ignored her (though he in fact didn't hear her over the sound of people trying to talk to him). That would make more sense to Kira's bitterness.
And capitalise 'I's as well as other 'names' like Mr Perfect and Mr Fancy Pants etc and make sure you add the apostrophe mark ' where needed. You tend to capitalize random letters in the middle of sentence, and have some stray words that does not match with the sentence (forgotten to delete words when you put the sentences together perhaps?). Read it through aloud. I found that that helps when you're correcting your own work. Either that or call a friend/beta to help you look through it.